SNL 2020

Virus

Qing: (eyes narrowing suspiciously) You succumbed to the craze and panic buy your way to supplies.

Me: (affronted) I did not!

Qing: Really? A whole box of hand sanitizer?

Me: For personal use! I will not sell those online for an insane price that meant to riff off other people. Ugh! Those abusive sellers who are trying to sell necessary cleaning and sanitizing products on triple, sometimes even quadruple, profits. They have no conscience! They should fuck off!

I am angry. I am! How dare some take advantage of this crisis to make a profit for themselves? Cleaning some store shelves of alcohols and sanitary wipes, water and first aid kits...just to sell them overpriced online. That's...that's disgusting.

Where is our humanity? Where?! We should be in this together. All of us.

Qing: Is that why you called Mama and Auntie so you three can donate some sanitizing kits on different organizations?

Me: (nodding) I need to do something to offset my anger. Donating seems like a good idea.

Qing: (nodding) It was a good idea. Even Baba and Uncle were prompted to contact some hospitals to see what they can donate. They have friends on manufacturing companies that make cleaning and sanitizing products. They could even get discounts if they will buy items in bulk to donate to vulnerable hospitals in some rural areas...

Me: What about you? What are you doing to help?

Qing: (smiling) Me? I'm making sure you are lockdown here in our home.

Me: (confuse) What?

Qing: (smirking) I said, I'm making sure you are here inside our condo, instead of outside and making troubles. I'm a hero.

Me: Hey! You are making it sound like I am a menace!

Qing: You are, my Love. If I let your run amok outside, you will put hand sanitizers everywhere and arrest people for not following your idea of social distancing. You will create chaos and confusion for everyone, making the jobs of people in authority extra hard. Plus, you won't stop complaining while thinking you are saving the world from it's own incompentency.

He rendered me speechless.

Me: I...that...well...not true and...what? Wow!

Qing: I noticed that you are not denying it.

Me: What am I not denying?!

Qing: You think the world won't survive if it will not let your OCD run the show.

Well...

Me: (scoffing) I know I can write those cleanliness protocols better than the one in charge.

Qing: The one in charge is the government.

Me: They are not doing enough! They should be sanitizing and disinfecting everything! Everywhere! Their actions are upsetting.

Qing: They are doing all they can to manage the situation. To minimize the spread of the virus.

Me: (haughtily) I think it's not enough. I have complaints.

Qing: (indulgent smile) Of course it's not enough for you. Of course you have complaints. You are so juvenile at times. But you just have to trust them and concentrate on us.

Me: (moaning) We will die.

Qing: (chuckling) I don't mind. If I will die with you...that's a blessing.

Me: (glaring at him) I don't want to die. That's why I bought all those sanitizing products!

Qing: (patiently) Then we will not die. I'll make sure of that.

Me: (pouting) Here I am thinking that the world will be doomed by an asteroid or alien invasion...and what? We will all fall from superflu?!

Qing: Superflu?

Me: Well, they said it's just like flu but  multiplied with Superman's DNA. Superflu. It's deadly.

Qing: It is. That's why we have to be careful.

Me: (smiling as he agreed with me) Hence all the hand sanitizers. It's not an exaggeration.

Qing: (throwing his arms in the air) Fine! Fine! You win! They are necessary and not an exaggeration at all.

I grinned at him. See...I turned that conversation round and round and in the end...I won. The dozen hand sanitizers will remain and Qing will use them to make sure his hands are clean. I also make sure soaps are available in every sink we have in this house. Washing our hands are important in this trying time of combating a pandemic virus.

Stay safe everyone. I know every country is going through some phase on keeping this virus from spreading. It's vicious. It's deadly. But it could be contain. The spread of it could be prevented. Let's listen to the experts and do as what they say is best to avoid contacting or spreading the virus. If it means washing our hands twenty times a day, you better make sure to wash those hands twenty one times just to be safe.

If it means social distancing or avoiding crowds by staying at home...do so. Staying at home is not really that bad. Spend time with family or pets or your lovers. Take time to watch movies or dramas, read books, write stuffs, learn a new craft or cook new recipes. There are a lot of things to do while inside your home.

And if all things fail...

Qing: Have sex. Masturbate. We should order something kinky stuffs online and try that in bed. Just as long as everything is sanitized and the person or persons in bed with you are clean as well. I mean literally and figuratively. STD is still a thing.

Me: Right. Right...

See. So many things to do. Don't despair. We can all get through this. Together.

Again...stay safe out there.