The Journey of life as a Non-Binary

2. Coming out as gay

So this goes back to the date 6th July, 3 days before my birthday when I couldn't take it anymore. 

So basically, I had a crush (not a major crush but a significant amount of liking my best friend (not naming names lol) so I liked her and I thought it might be a good idea to just tell her I had a dream of her and hear this HER BOYFRIEND and my ex (a guy I dated at that time) in a party and the guys kissed and everyone gasped and then we kissed. I DID TELL HER THIS and I started flirting with her cause I thought that is a good idea too.

The next day she told me that she was not interested in girls and I was heartbroken and petty for 2 whole weeks. I wasn't able to understand that it is her choice and I became very stubborn to make her mine, I fought with her to make her understand that I loved her (I shouldn't have) and I after losing her to this fight I realized how wrong I was. 

So she was the first person to know that I was gay and she supported me but she made it very clear that she is straight, this happened on 19th June perhaps.

Back to my sister story, my sister at that time used to live in Gurugram as she had night shifts and where we stay is too far to travel every day, so she would visit me on the weekends and I was very low on 6th. When she arrived, I was sitting in my room and my mom and my sister were fighting like always, she entered the room and she asked me what was up with me, I said I was fine and there is nothing to worry about, then she asked me how were things going between me and the ex? I replied saying that we broke up for good and I don't wanna be with men.

So she assumed that I could be bisexual, she asked are you bisexual? I said no, and I told her to think more as she is dumb sometimes. She gave up and I told her I was gay. She said ok but why are you crying? LIKE I WAS STUNNED WHEN SHE SAID IT IS OKAY LIKE I THOUGHT SHE WOULD PROBABLY REJECT ME AND MY LIFE DECISIONS BUT SHE DIDN'T. THOSE TEARS WERE NOT OF SADNESS IT WERE ABOUT MY APPRECIATION OF HOW MY SISTER REACTED, IT HAD TOUCHED MY HEART.

Since then she has been pretty open to talking to me about the LGBTQ+ community and has learnt so much more about me and what I like which I would've never told her before, our bond is so much stronger now.

So yeah, that was it. Sorry if I bored y'all with my musings that's why I'll wrap this entry up now

Love,

Ryan