so much more than a fan - billie eilish

are you still breathing

title: break my heart again - finneas

billie's POV

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"shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit SHIT!" i yell as i pace around the hotel room, running my hand through my hair about a billion times. "hey, bil. it's okay. i know this is like really fucking scary and we really fucked up, but it'll be fine" elle tries to comfort me. "elle! how can you be so calm right now? millions of people know what your boobs look like!" i remind her. "i have nice boobs, it's okay" she says in a weird voice and smiles goofily. "you're my favorite person, you know that?" i let out a small laugh and put my hands on her waist and pull her to me. "what coincidence, you're my favorite person" she giggles and pecks our lips together.  a loud knock comes on the door and elle jumps away. "shit, that scared me" elle laughs, making me giggle. she walks to the door and opens it, revealing a very angry finneas. "hey finn, what's-" elle starts but her cuts her off. "what the fuck were you two thinking?! are you seriously that dumb?!" he shouts. "hear us out finn, elle thought she ended it. i thought she ended it as well" i defend. "oh so that makes it alright?!" he yells. "finneas if you're just going to yell at billie and i, i'm gonna have to ask you to leave." elle says in a calm tone, like her mom when she's angry. "fine, i'm out of here. you two majorly fucked up though, good luck talking to mark tomorrow when he undoubtedly calls you up and screams at you for being such a dumbass!" finneas glares at us and slams the door behind him. 

i've never seen finneas so angry. usually in these types of situations, he's quick to make sure i'm okay and not too upset. but he just seemed super pissed off. i've really fucked up. i assume i'm going to have to make an apology video and everything, and it'll definitely come up in interviews i have in the future. 

"i'm sorry bil. i thought i ended it. i brought this whole thing upon us and i'm really sorry." elle says, snapping me out of my thoughts. "aw, angel. it's not your fault. it's anything it's mine. i chose to start that live and i let things get out of hand. let's just not worry about it and deal with it all in the morning." i suggest, pulling her onto my lap after i sit down on the bed. 

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i wake up and grab my phone, seeing about 10 missed calls. 5 from mark, 4 from elizabeth and 1 from amelia. "fuck!" i whisper-yell and immediately call elizabeth back. when she doesn't answer my heart drops. 

fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. please let her be okay.

i call amelia and after about 5 rings she picks up. "thank god, is elizabeth okay?" i ask. "you need to come down here." she responds. "fuck, okay. i'll be down there as soon as possible." i tell her. "i love you. i'll see you soon" i add. "i love you too billie." amelia sniffles a little. 

"elle, wake up" i say and shake her. "what?" she groans. "we gotta go to the hospital, something's wrong" i tell her. "shit, is elizabeth okay?" she asks, shooting up and rushing to change into different clothes as i put on my shoes. "i don't know, all i know is that your mom needs us down there" i explain. once she gets her shoes on we run out to the car and drive to the hospital.

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a/n: 

I DODGE DICK ON THE DAILY