Purple Violet Flowers: Book Two

Chapter 3

Sunflower pushed the maid to the side, bursting into the room, she stopped in place once she saw her malaise mother, seeing her lay there was enough to break her heart.
Maria slightly opened her eyes, the older woman weakly reached her hand towards her.
Hesitantly, she walked forward, as she walked closer to the bed, her heart was pounding.
She sat down in the chair beside the bed.
"You may go now," She says, turning her head to the maids, the three maids nodded with worried looks, walking out the door.
Once they walked out, the room was filled with silence.
Sunflower stared at the ground with a guilty look, she tugged at her clothing, not knowing what to say.
"I'm dying."
Her eyes widened, she looked up immediately, making eye contact with her mother, devastated.
"I've been feeling this way for a week, I fear I won't be here anymore."
"D-Don't say that-." Sunflower raised her voice, but was soon cut off, "I don't fear death, I'm not afraid of what comes after I die.." Maria wheezed, before weakly placing her head on the pillow.
"You'll be alright- It's not that serious-."
"You don't know that."
Sunflower turned her head to see Skye, her sister placed her coat on the coffee table beside the door, before walking towards them.
"She has coronary heart disease, it's when the heart's blood vessels become damaged or diseased, I studied the disease after mother took a blood test, and how it was confirmed she was diagnosed."
Skye stood on the other side of the bed, a troubled look on her face.
"You mean- you kept it yourselves and didn't tell m-."
"Don't be acting like the victim here! We didn't want to tell you because of how miserable you were when you came back, we didn't want to make you more s-"
"Oh yeah- knowing that your own mother is dying would've been great to know! That's more important than not telling me in the first place, just how stupid can you be?"
Skye eyed Sunflower with a pained look, "I hate to see you so upset, why do you think I hid it from you?"
Sunflower looked at the ground, her eyes slightly watering.
"Why isn't she in the hospital then?" Her nails dug into her pants.
"Apparently, it's worse than we expected, but mother insisted on staying here, where she could die in peace.." Skye's eyes watered as she stared at the ground.
"If only I started paying more attention to you," Sunflower's voice was shaking, "I-If only I spent more time with you, If only I stopped feeling so sorry for myself- we would've had more time to-."
Sunflower wiped her tears with her wrist, "W-We.."
"I.. Just wanted.. To get to know you more, you're my own mother, so of course I'd try-."
Sunflower felt a shaky hand grab onto hers, the hand was cold, boney, and fragile.
"I don't.. Care about any of the things you did, to me or your own family.." Maria spoke in a raspy voice.
"I couldn't have been more proud of you than I am now, you're strong.. Determined..."
"Ever since you were a kid.. I'm sure your father would've been proud of you if he were still here."
"I'm always going to love you.. No matter what," Maria squeezed her hand, before looking at her with a weak smile," But until you start valuing yourself more, you won't have a life."
.
Sunflower sat at the dinner table, her eyes watering as she stared down at the plate full of food.
"Are you not going to eat ma'am?" Cherryl asked in a soft voice, looking down at the girl.
Sunflower shook her head, the tears going down her eyes.
'If' is what drives me to be like this, it's the only word that isn't getting me anywhere.
I could only wish, and be driven to the darkest side of my head, where cloudless and empty thoughts are constantly fighting to get the best of me.
Sunflower chuckled a bit, clenching her fist lightly.
It really did, It really did get the best of me.
I'm not strong enough, I can't live like this anymore.
I just can't.
I can't keep expecting the worst when I don't believe in myself to get through with it.
I just can't keep expecting things to be alright when I know they won't be.
Sunflower sat up from the chair, a shady look overthrown her face.
"Ma'am- where are you going?" Cherryl asked worriedly as Sunflower effortlessly turned her head to the side, she slightly smiled with a pained look.
"I'm.. I can't take it, I just can't.." Sunflower began to walk towards the entrance.
"You can't just leave like that, you have dut-."
"Forget the duties! It's better than doing nothing at all!" Sunflower raised her voice, her fists clenching.
"I don't care about the duties-," Sunflower turned her head to the side, tears streaming down her face, "My mother is dying- there won't be any duties to do after she's gone-." She trembled on the spot, looking at the ground, her lips quivering.
"Ma'am, it's going to be alright- you're going to be alright, we're all going to be alright," Cherryl placed her hand on Sunflower's shoulder, "these things happen for a reason-."
Sunflower shoved her hand off of her shoulder.
"First my father, then my friends, now my mother? These were supposed to happen? What are you going to tell me next, that It's supposed to make me stronger? That things will get better?"
Sunflower swiftly turned her head to the side.
"Don't argue with me like you know what's better, you're nothing but a maid, what are you going to do to make things better for me or anyone else?"
Cherryl frowned, stopping in place.
"Leave me alone, and leave my family alone, you're no better than the rest." Sunflower wiped her tears, turned her whole body before swiftly walking down the hallway.
.
A few hours had passed ever since that whole scene had taken place, the maids decided it was best for her, so they hospitalized Maria.
In her current condition anyone would say she wouldn't make it, I hope she gets better, but deep down I truly understand that she'll die trying in the end.
Sunflower heaved her whole body into a sigh, as she brought her legs close.
Watching the oceans waves, swaying up and down vacillating.
The disappearance of the birds flying in the distance, the absolute dreading sound of silence, all she could hear was the waves.
She figured how pointless it was to sit by the ocean, running from her very exact problems yet again.
She gazed down, spacing out, lost in her fearful thoughts of what was to become of her.
"I don't know what to do.."
Sunflower whispered to herself, her grip on her legs tightening.
I'm lost, I don't know anything-
What am I supposed to do now?
I need help, I can't do this on my own.
Someone, please..
I beg for all of this to end, for all of this to be some kind of sickened joke.
I can't stand the harsh reality that is continuing to hit me every time I try to do something right.
Better or worse, who cares?
Why does my whole life have to be based on one choice or more?
Wouldn't it be better, if I didn't get to choose my choice, but something breathtaking happened without me making a split decision about it?
I'm so afraid of the very things I decide to do with my life.
But.
What'll happen..
If I decide.
Not to make any more choices?
.
Sunflower laughed, she ran down the hallway as Lottie chased her.
"How are- you- so fast-," Lottie panted, she began to slow down, "You're too fast for me.."
She crouched down, her legs on her knees, she was panting heavily.
"Well, you'll be as fast as me soon." Sunflower smiled, putting her hands behind her back.
"Eh? No way, I'll never be as fast as you." Lottie frowned, before she stood straight, light pants were still coming from her.
"I'm only fast because I always run from the guards." Sunflower chuckled, leaning against the wall with a smile, Lottie sat on the ground beside her.
"I wonder if there will ever be a day where the guards run from us?" Lottie says calmly.
"Hm, that'll be nice, we'll give the guards a big scare won't we?" Sunflower giggled.
"Yep!" Lottie had a big smile on her face.
"We'll order the guards around and make them do stuff for us, we can hide in a building and get away from here, just the two of us." Lottie explains, stars beginning to form in her eyes.
"What would we do there?" Sunflower asks, quite curious.
"Hm," Lottie had a thinking face on, she narrowed her eyes to the side as she thought of several possibilities, "Maybe- we'll be like a family, with a kid to raise." Lottie pointed out, a light blush on her cheeks as she spoke.
"Do you think our kid will have blue or orange hair?" Sunflower was lost in thought.
"I want our kid to have dark blue scruffy hair, like mine!" Lottie pointed at her hair.
"You want our kid to be scruffy?" Sunflower chuckled.
"Well- you want our kid to have a braid?" Lottie crossed her arms, pouting.
"Hmm.." Sunflower ran her hand through the openings in her braid, "Maybe we'll let our kid choose what hair they can have."
"It doesn't work like that!" Lottie shook her head, furiously.
"It doesn't?" Sunflower blinked.
"We have to do something called naked wrestling, and then we'll have a kid." Lottie stated with a smile.
"It sounds fun, but we're always like that around each other, you're eleven and I'm something, shouldn't we already have a kid?" Sunflower blinked, clearly confused.
"I was never taught that, I don't know what you're talking about." Lottie frowned.
"Well, I just want our kid to make their own choices-,"
"Wait!" Lottie stood up from the ground, startled.
"What?" Sunflower was drawn back, confused.
"I heard that if you're friends with someone for about.. A year or two, you're a couple. We've been friends for.. Six or seven years," Lottie began to count her fingers, raising seven, "so we can be a couple now!" Lottie pointed out, stars in her eyes.
"What's a couple?" Sunflower tilted her head, confused.
"It's where we get married."
"But, my mother told me i'm going to get married to a stranger one day-."
"No! I won't let that happen, you're mine and mine only, we'll get married and have one kid!" Lottie smiled determinedly, she put her hands on her hips.
"Really? What will we name our kid?"
Lottie began dragging her finger along the wall in a wavy pattern, she turned her head with a smile.
"Before we have a kid, we'll have to get married first, but I think Copper will be a name for a boy, and Sory for a girl?" Lottie suggested.
"Sounds like you were trying to say 'sorry'"
"What- no, it's the name for our kids." Lottie frowned.
"I think those are great names, but we're going to have a girl, so our kid will be Sory Minafile."
.
Sunflower walked along the empty alleyways, dragging her finger along the concrete.
I always seem to find such ease when I'm alone in certain places.
Just how happy would we both be, if both of our lives were different?
Would we both be sitting at a table in a house far in the country, with just the two of us and our kid?
The three of us are living the life, with no worries.
I do the dishes, and spend time with our kid, while you drink coffee and walk on off to work while I stay and take care of our kid.
Sunflower went to your average florist shop, the bell dinged as she opened the door.
"Welcome!"
She looked around the shop, looking at all of the flowers.
On the tags, it showed it's species, and the meaning of what it represented.
"Do you need help with anything?" A man with sandy brown hair asked, he was holding a flower pot.
"I'm just browsing through." Sunflower forced herself to speak, not making eye contact with the man.
"If you need any help, don't be afraid to speak up."
Sunflower ignored the man, she browsed through the flowers.
There were all kinds, blue, red, white, yellow, and even orange.
She came across the purple aisle, a purple flower with petals that make the plant look like a building caught her eye, she picked up the flower pot, looking at the tag attached to the side.
'Hyacinth.'
She turned the tag around.
'Sorrow; please forgive me.'
She blinked, staring at the tag.
She then reached for her pocket, grabbing a one hundred dollar bill.
Sunflower went on towards the counter, she ringed the bell.
"Hm?" A woman, probably in her mid thirties, walked out from a door.
The woman had light gray hair, her hair was tied into a dutch braid.
"Greetings." Sunflower says as she puts the flower pot on the counter.
"Привет, have great day?" The woman asked with a smile, scanning the product.
"Not so much," Sunflower put the cash on the counter, she grabbed the flower pot, "Keep the change,"
She walked out the door, ignoring the call from the woman.
She was russian, she also had similarities with Belle, could this be some kind of family?
Sunflower held the flower put in her hands, she decided this would be great to give to her mother.
I ain't exactly on the right track with her, but maybe if I try I'll be able to get on the right terms.
.
Sunflower walked up to the registration desk, the lady sitting at the desk had extremely loud typing.
"Ahem," She cleared her throat, the lady eyed Sunflower.
"She's in room three o' seven, on the third floor to your right."
"Oh-." Sunflower was confused, how did she know without me telling her?
She decided to brush it off, she went towards the stairs, she didn't really understand the elevator, for it was a complex machine with several confusing buttons.
She had remembered when she came here out of curiosity and got stuck in one of those mechanical boxes.
She'd always remember how humiliating it was to be found curled in the corner of the box while people asked her if she was alright.
Sunflower began to cringe at herself.
What the bloody hell was I even thinking? Even to this day, I have no idea how to work it.
She cleared her throat, no need to be thinking of childish memories right in the middle of the hallway.
She began to walk up the stairs, using the railing for safety precautions.
I always wondered what assumptions people have when they get a good look at me.
Do I look mean?
Do I look not approachable?
These questions will always be in my head, I don't really know anyone's opinion on me.
Sunflower reached the third floor, she was surprised by how fast it had taken, she opened the door before looking to the right, the room was just down this hallway.
I just have to go down this hallway.
It's just a hallway.
Nothing to fear.
A hallway is a hallway.
A long way to get to somewhere.
Very simple.
I just have to walk down this aisle.
The sweat went down her face as she slowly walked forward, she began to get nervous.
I always heard once you came in here, you'd get something called 'a flu shot' whatever that is, it seems like a torture device made specifically for kids, only sick minded people think of harming kids.
I also researched when adults and teenagers took it, it was like a cure for something, but the main thing I hate about it is that it's sharp, and the 'doctors' stab you in the shoulder with it.
This world is cruel in so many ways, I can't imagine how much more torture devices there is in this world.
Sunflower shook away the thought, she reached the end of the hallway with no troubles.
She cleared her throat, she began to stand straight before opening the door slowly.
"Maria?" She called out, peeking her head through the door.
She saw her mother laying there, sleeping on the bed, Skye was sitting on the chair beside her bed, it looked like they were both asleep.
Sunflower gulped, the anxiety developing in her chest as she approached her sickly mother.
She placed the flower pot on the stand beside her bed, she went on towards the chair, it was located on the opposite side of the room.
She sat down, looking at her hands.
My time with Maria is shortening as the seconds, and hours pass by.
I won't be able to know her like I want to, but being within her radius while she's on her deathbed fills me with joy, she wants me to be here, she Isn't telling me to go away.
I couldn't ask for more than this, it's the closest we've been in a while.
I just wish that I was there when our family mourned father's death, a family mourns together, not alone.
Warm tears trailed down her cheeks as she stared at the ground, a few droplets hit the floor.
I can't lose you.
I'm too weak to move forward, I just can't.
You were the one that made me want to move further on the goals i've made for myself, what will I do if you're not there to discipline me when I don't succeed?
I need you here, I really do.
"I'm nothing without you.." Sunflower tugged at her shirt, her tears going slowly down her face.
I can't make a big change for myself, if my motivation was you.
With you gone, I can't work towards anything.
You made me want to keep going because I was obsessed with wanting to make you proud of me.
Are you proud of what I've become?
I just need to hear those words.
'I'm proud of you'
Just please.
Please...
She closed her eyes tightly, desperately wanting to stop the tears.
I'm so pathetic.
I really am.
"I forgive you."
Sunflower immediately looked up, her mother reached her hand towards her.
She watched her mother struggle to sit up, but she soon fell down on the bed.
Sunflower rushed towards her, "D-Don't try to sit up-." She tugged her mother in the blanket, her heart pounding in her chest, her eyes slightly watering.
Maria shakily lifted up her arms, she pulled Sunflower down into a hug.
Sunflower's eyes watered as Maria embraced her, her lips began to quiver as she felt Maria's grip weaken, the tears soon went down her eyes.
"I'm sorry.. For being so hard on you," Maria says weakly, "I've just wanted you to grow up to be someone.. You could be proud.. Of."
"Even if you did things, I'll always love you... Despite that."
"You're my daughter, my own blood, of course I'd accept that part of you."
Her tears dripped onto Maria's hospital gown.
"I'm proud of you."
"I couldn't ask for more of you, you and Skye both make me so proud..." Maria's voice trailed away, she began to wheeze in pain.
"I.. love you both."
"Don't.. Change yourself, continue to make others proud.. Succeed, and make the whole world proud."
"Start believing in yourself more.."
Maria let go, she began to lay back down on the bed, she smiled weakly, stretching her arms up to wipe Sunflower's tears off of her face with her thumb.
Maria's hand shot down to the bed, her eyes watering.
"I'll.. always love you, no matter what..." Maria's voice began to become more quiet as the seconds drew by, torrents of tears went down Sunflower's eyes.
"I.. love.." Maria's heartbeat became faint, the older woman began to stop moving.
A long, everlasting beep began to ring.
Sunflower stared down at her mother, her heartbeat quickening, "Maria?" She said, sitting up.
"Mother?!" Sunflower grabbed both of her shoulders, shaking her, no response.
"I can't lose you!" Sunflower raised her voice, tears went down her eyes as Maria's body showed no sign of any available life, it was stiff, and light.
"Sunflower- sto-." Skye's voice trailed off into an echo in her mind as she continued to shake Maria.
"Mother!"
"MOTHER!"