Endgame

I Couldn't Take It

Alison's POV
I saw Emily collapse, she wasn't moving, it was too much for me to handle. So I had a panic attack, I was so scared that she was gonna die or something in a hospital filled with people that don't understand much English. I know that sounds like I'm afraid of people from other countries but you can never be too careful, I was reckless and it has gotten me or my friends nearly killed, so I have decent reason to not have a lot of trust in strangers.

I just wish I was there. Emily has had some horrible things happen to her. She was almost burned to death, poisoned by carbon monoxide produced by the exhaust pipes in a locked barn, and sawed in half. I was there to save her life every time. To watch her collapse in front of the entire world, me not being able to do anything to help, was the worst feeling I've ever had.

I managed to keep my distance when I was hiding but if there was a crisis I still managed to find my friends and Emily in a time of crisis and save them and I feared the worst for Emily.

Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to let Emily go to the Olympics

Selfish much, Alison?

Can I really blame myself for being selfish? I mean, I'm marrying Emily FIelds, she's practically a celebrity now...and for a positive thing, unlike me...being known for faking my own death in an attempt to shake off a deranged murderer.

I still mentally cringe when I think of the way I treated Emily before I had to 'disappear' and it occurred to me how important I was to her when I checked on her. Watching her have the worst nightmares for months, the way she'd quietly come home from swim practice, barely eat her dinner, and go to her room and sob. How could I be so stubborn? How could I be so stupid? To just stomp on her feelings like that, tease her, but no matter what I did, she stood by me.

When the whole world, it seems like, including my family, would give up on me, someone I always knew would be by my side, was Emily. She's the strongest, courageous, and kindest person I ever met and I'd be a complete idiot to let the love of my life slip through my fingers.

"So, Miss DiLaurentis, care to tell me what triggered your panic attack?"

I snapped out of my daze to look at a woman, probably in her forties, with a clipboard and a pen at the ready. "Well, I was watching the Olympics and my fiance collapsed in front of the world, last night."

"Wait, you're marrying Emily FIelds, right?" She slid her glasses off and looked at me.

"Yeah, did you see it happen?" I asked nervously, my voice cracking a little.

"Of course! She's from Rosewood and she goes to Danby University right?" She smiled. "She's on the same team with my daughter."

"Oh really? What's her name?"

"Laura O'Day."

"Ohh Emily has told me so much about your daughter, she seems like a really nice girl."

She nodded her head in approval. "I think the same would have happened to me if that were Laura, if you don't mind me asking, what do you think made your panic attack so severe?"

I thought about it for a second. "Well, I wasn't the greatest person growing up. I made a lot of enemies, but Emily always stood by me. Whether it was for better or worse, she was the most caring and loyal friend. She would protect me from everyone else, even though I may have instigated the drama." I took a deep breath, trying to prevent me from crying in front of this woman, but I failed.

"Are you panicking again?" She asked cautiously.

"No, it's just...the first time I wasn't there for her" I sobbed. "She's on the other side of the world and I feel so guilty and helpless."