I Call it a Draw

Ping Pong.

I refused to get closer to that house again.

Just looking at the steps made me feel sick.

Which is why Alfred and I are currently sitting on the floor, right next to the fence.

Silence has engulfed us after Alfred's attempt at questioning me about what the "I'll rot in here." meant.

It might be mean to keep silent but I do not wish to share that with him, if I can't get myself to talk about it with Ivan, I am not discussing it with Alfred.

I cannot help but wonder if what he said was true, are they trying to approach me that way? Why would they? None of them showed interest before, not even Ivan when I lived in here, why would they do so now?

I sighed. It's getting late and even though I am wearing a light coat, the coldness of the night is starting to creep on my skin.

I hear footsteps behind me and my heartbeat speeds up.

Alfred turns his head back and beams happily. "finally! And you did bring tea, good, it's starting to get cold, well thought Ivan."

I did not turn but I can imagine Ivan frowning at his words, even I was annoyed by the tone of them, it sounded so fake that I am sure Alfred is disappointed on his own acting.

I heard Ivan sigh and then he stepped next to me, handling me a cup of tea, I focused on his hands, in the steam coming from the tea, a sense of nervousness is taking over me and I do not dare to look at his eyes.

I know I said I would face the issue but it is so hard for me to think of how to approach it, my mind is blank, all I can think about is the cold air and the warm feeling in my hands.

After a while the silence is broken. "We have to get back" Ivan's voice is calm.

I nod and take the last sip of my cup.

Alfred's voice is quiet too. "You still have a car? I don't feel like walking back."

Ivan took the cup from his hands placing it in a tray. "Yes, let me leave this in the house- he took my cup too and paused- do you want me to fetch a coat?"

I realize he is talking to me and I shake my head.

He leaves and Alfred stands up "Are you sure about the coat?"

"I'm fine."

When Ivan comes back and lead us to his car, I decide to take the back seat while Alfred seats with him in the front.

He starts asking about the radio stations and I glance at the window, seeing the old house farther away with each passing second makes me feel relived, I glance back at them.

Ivan is focused on the road and Alfred is staring out of the window with a seemingly childish glee.

I suddenly think about Alfred's words and they make no sense, if courting me is their objective why do they have to place it within a rivalry.

I frown, they do not fancy me, they are just doing it for the sake of their game.

The thing about Ivan and Alfred, is that they are so different yet so similar, I can't help but think that they should get along better than they actually do.

The two of them act like children, it is wrong for me to repeat this thought over and over again, they have lived more than a century already, I should not view them as children, I know they aren't but having to take care of my siblings has accustomed me to deal with other countries in such way, especially Russia and America, and likewise my siblings, they too get annoyed when I underline their childish antics.