I Call it a Draw

Playing.

A game, all of this is a game. A stupid and complicated game.

I knew it since the beginning but I've refused to believe it.

Nothing has changed.

They want to play? Fine.

No more oblivious attitude, the game is not funny if they are losing. They cannot side together for a long time and I am relying on that.

"Wait. Yao I'm sorry..." Alfred wailed, he is playing the little child card with me isn't he?

"Yao you almost pass out just a few minutes ago, you shouldn't be walking around." Ivan, compelling as usual.

I replied sharply. "I want to get back home."

Ivan shifted from one foot to another, his voice cautious. "Uh... I think that is not possible right now."

I stared at him intently and grinned. "Why not? You won't allow me to?"

Ivan seems startled and avoids my gaze.

Alfred was the one to answer. "Whoa calm down, what he means is that it's kind of late and well... how are you supposed to get to China at this hour?"

Of course he'll help him, their game would be ruined if I leave.

I don't even have to think much about my words, I want him to know I am upset. "I don't know and I don't care, I am really tired of putting up with you two, I better leave so you can settle your affairs privately while I am at home as I should be, coming here was a mistake."

They stare at me in silence perhaps it was too harsh but I am not backing up in this, right now silence is a good sign, it means they are thinking how to retort, just like with everything control is the key and they do not have it in this situation.

I turn my back on them and start walking, not giving them time to think what to say, perhaps this will end if I leave, after all what is a play without an audience.

"You think I want to put up with him? I didn't invite him." Ivan is distressed he has raised his voice a bit, his facade of patience is cracking and as expected I am not the only target of his outburst.

I just ignore him.

Alfred whines- "Hey I tried to tell you I'd come beforehand but you didn't answer your phone because you weren't in that hideous house of yours." -His voice raising to stress the last part of his statement. He took it personally, this is not going to end well.

I turn to see Ivan frowning at Alfred's words. "What's your problem with my house?"

Alfred sneers pointing at him. "I told you to get rid of this house but you didn't, you didn't because you can't let go of your expansionist fantasies."

"I was not asking you at the time America besides why should I listen to your ideas? they are always either stupid or horrendous" Ivan is tense.

They are practically shouting at each other now, the noise their voices make is melting with that little voice in my head that tells me to run away from this.

This is wrong, there is too much noise in here and I can only gawk at their display of offenses.

Alfred growls. "Yeah but at least my ideas don't give people panic attacks."

Ivan is about to retort but stops and turns to look at me, Alfred does so too.

I have to remember, control is the key to get out of this unharmed but I wonder if that's even possible at this point.

I replied annoyed. "See? This is what I am talking about, you fight with each other and expect me to support you both, I do not have to take any sides in this, this is your problem not mine. Just drive me to the airport and let me be at peace in my house."

"But you do have to take part, this is your problem too." Ivan's voice is dangerously sharp I can't help but flinch at the sound of it.

I took some steps back and question him. "Why?"

"Because he is implying that you are afraid of me, of entering my house." His tone is lower but is obviously frustrated, he takes some steps towards me.

My hands tremble and that stupid voice keeps on telling me to run, I finally utter two words confirming what he just said. "I am."

Alfred beams with childish excitement. "I told you Russia."

Ivan keeps approaching, his height towering over me as it always does but this time is frightening, it shouldn't because his voice is not angry, is hurt. "Why are you scared?"

"I... I don't really want to talk about this right now... please." Avoiding his gaze is the only thing I can do, I am not even moving it's like I have been glued to the floor.

He takes me by the shoulders roughly and asks again, this time I do hear anger. "Why?"

A whisper is all I can manage. "I... don't know..."

Alfred gets near, his voice is firm but soothing. "Ivan, leave him alone you are only scaring him..."

Ivan's hold tightens, and he growls at him. "No, I have been patient enough with you America, this isn't your business and if you keep on interfering like that I will report you to my government, let's see how you explain your sudden trip here."

Alfred's face paled and he took a step back. "At least stop holding him like that..."

Ivan's face softened, his voice was pleading but his hold was still tight. "Why are you so scared?"

The American cautioned. "You ask him why, look at this, you are threatening not only him but me, this is really unsettling Russia..."

"What did I do to you?" I know he is not trying to be menacing, his face tells me that he is frustrated, sad and even desperate but I can't shut that voice inside my head telling me that in a matter of seconds he will snap.

"I'll rot in here."

His hold weakens, I see confusion and then realization in his face, so he does remember.