I Call it a Draw

Euphemisms.

I should have read the last page before.

Now what am I supposed to do? Maybe if a text America he will come to eat here. Yes, I can talk with Russia and then have lunch with America, on the other hand, I do not know what Russia wants to talk about, hence it could take more time than I expect. What should I do?

"Privet China, how are you doing today?"

My thoughts were interrupted by Russia's cheerful voice. Why is he here so soon? I try to sound as casual as I can, this sudden conversation makes me feel a bit uneasy. "Uhh fine I guess...."

He takes a seat in front of me. "You guess?"

I wave my hand dismissively. "We've been in that meeting room most of the day so there is no much to say, why wouldn't I be alright?"

"Well, you left earlier and I just thought you might have been feeling unwell..."

The concerned look on his faces makes me feel guilty, I left early because I was irritated by them, is he... taking my hand? Why is he doing this? I am not dying, why is he acting like that?

"Never mind, what do you need to talk about?" I say while retrieving my hand.

"Ah well nothing serious, let us have lunch together first." He smiles. "I must say I am not very keen of hamburgers but I will make an exception today."

I laugh, he is so stubborn he won't admit that he actually enjoys eating them. "Don't you have the biggest McDonalds in Europe?"

Russia laughs nervously. "I... yes but it is due to my population of course..." he looks away.

"I am the one with largest population, not you"

He looks at me flustered. "I... I like the ice cream ok? But do not tell America, I don't want him bothering me for it."

I can only smile, they sure are alike. Alfred would never tell him how much he likes to ice skate because he thinks Ivan will make fun of him. "I am sure Alfred would appreciate your taste in ice creams, maybe you could try to spend some peaceful time with each other if you keep up with a conversation about your love for sweets... "

He interrupts me. "I do not wish to do such thing, and since when do you use his human name, I thought it was only for family?"

Oh no, have I been calling him Alfred?

"I ... well, it's a habit, he uses mine all the time even when I asked him not to, and he is correcting me when I call him America, is annoying, so I gave up and now I call him Alfred."

The waitress comes, takes our orders and leaves, too quickly for my liking. And here was I hoping a distraction could get me out of this.

Just as if he was reading my thoughts he leans on the table and speaks again, it is almost like a whisper this time.

"And eating here is a new habit too, Yao?"

I can't hold my gaze, those violet eyes looking at me with disapproval, almost with disgust. I have to change the topic, this reminds me too much of the past, and I hate it. I only have to change the disapproval with hate and it would all be the same. I can feel my hands shaking, I have to calm down.

"No, I just didn't feel like going far from the building..." He... he is invading my personal space on purpose isn't he? He knows I don't like that, why is he lecturing me? Nothing has changed. "Why am I even telling you this? What are you, my boss?" I laugh but it comes out a bit forced, I hope he doesn't notice. Or that he does and takes the bait.

He is fidgeting with his scarf. "No, but I thought I was your friend now."

I feel like I been stabbed, or worst. I can't describe how much it bothers me to hear that, even if he doesn't mean it, but what's worse is that I can't tell if he is serious or not. That's one thing I can say I hate about Ivan, I can't rely on his expressions, he might look calm and collected but I know that inside that head of his, there is a lot going on. Which makes him quite unpredictable and therefore dangerous.

I see him smile, mischievously?. No, playfully, and I feel relieved but also annoyed. Why does he do that? Doesn't he knows that it makes me feel bad, uneasy?

No, I know him enough to understand that he enjoys it, the suffering of others, I have seen him.

No.

I am thinking about his old self. He's changed and it won't happen again. If America changed why wouldn't Russia do the same?

Did America really changed?

Did Russia really changed?

"Yao? Are you ok? You've been staring for a long time already.... Shall I call Alfred so you both can have a match of silly faces?"

My face heats up. Is he insulting me?

"Why are you saying such things? What did I even do to you? Is this about the name? Alright I will call him America if it bothers you so much, geez you are like a child throwing a tantrum. In fact I will correct that, you are a child, and you've never stopped being that."

There is silence, I might have over reacted.

Then he gives me a look that resembles a kicked puppy.

"I just want you to use my name, is it really that hard?"

I sigh "A child indeed."

"Why can't you stop seeing me as a child?" he groans.

"Because you are a child, and you don't help by acting like one."

Ivan crosses his arms "Well if you put it like that, then everyone is a child in comparison to you, I am not to blame for not being as old as you."

Was that another insult? I just knitted my eyebrows together.

The food is served and I start eating in silence.

After a moment Ivan speaks up again.

"I... I am sorry, please don't be mad.... Let's talk about something else."

I take another bite of my hamburger. Just to annoy him.

"Fine. Did you know that the biggest McDonalds of the world is in Florida?"

"Really?" he replies bored and starts eating too.

"Yes, Alfred showed it to me the last time I came."

He sets his food apart and rolls his eyes. "Oh please, why do you keep talking about Alfred? Why are you going on excursions with him? And from all places why Florida?"

"Alright enough with the interrogation, what is going on? What are you and America scheming now? Is the cold war 2.0? Do I have to slap some sense into you both?"

"I have no idea what you are talking about...- He sighs and loosens his scarf. -I just wanted to talk to you without having that annoying American around, sometimes he gets on my nerves and when I finally react to his offenses somehow I end up being the bad one. And you keep talking about him and now I feel even more upset..."

Well he's got a point, I have to stop talking about America.

I offer him my fries out of habit. I used to break Korea's and Taiwan's fights by offering them food. Sometimes it even works with America.

"And what do you want to talk about then?"

He looks away but takes them nevertheless. "I... it was nothing, forget it."

There is an awkward silence, until Ivan decides to speak again.

"You do know that America uses Florida as a euphemism for his dick right?"

I almost choke in my food. "What?"