What It Seems | Wattys 2023

Chapter 50

There was a big hole in my chest as a whole month passed by. Over and over again I tried extremely hard to get him to talk to me, but Baylor always turned me down. He was upset and angry and I didn't blame him.

Everyday as I walked down the hallway, I saw him. Walking in the crowd, head bowed down as he was looking at the floor beneath him. His hair was a mess like he hadn't pushed it up into a quiff with gel. At lunch, he sat by himself. Alone at a table, with his back towards me. His friends asked what was going on but eventually gave up after the second week. After school, I hadn't seen him leave the school and enter the student parking lot. His Honda remained in the parking space beside Steph's car.

Later after school each day, I tried calling him. And then I texted him, saying that I needed to talk to him and I needed to give an explanation, but he never called or texted back.

He avoided me at all costs, not even trying to look around the hallways or the cafeteria. I hadn't made eye contact with him since that night.

I was asked so many questions about the two of us but I never responded. It was none of their business and I definitely didn't need someone going back to Baylor, saying I spoke this and that. When I saw him in the hallway, he didn't look himself. He was growing stub around his mouth and along his jawbone. His hair was worse than before; it hadn't been combed or gelled or attempted to be groomed. After lunch everyday I made it to the bathroom and sulked.

Baylor hated it when he was too lazy to shave and I wouldn't let him kiss me until he did 'cause I hated the feeling. He bothered me until I was possibly in the grave with agitation, so I made the choice and shaved his mouth for him. As I sat on his sink, my legs would wrap around his waist and his arms would snake around my back and he'd pull me to his chest just because he wanted me to be close to him. He'd make weird faces to try and make me laugh.

And then when it was a bit warm outside, he'd lay on his bed shirtless. His head would be buried in the pillow as he stared at me with a beaming smile. His hair was messy because I had played in it just recently.

I hadn't seen Derek ever since the day that he kissed me. It seemed like he slipped from the face of the earth.

And here I was, on the fourth week. I tried finding Baylor in person just because he was avoiding me when I tried calling and texting him.

Jo had pulled up. "Are you sure you want to wait here? There's no telling when he'd be out."

I was waiting in the student parking lot by his car. He couldn't do anything then or leave me behind to walk home. Perhaps today could be the day that I actually fixed our relationship, and I'd find myself shaving his mouth and playing with his hair as he shared a big smile.

"I'm sure, Jo. Thank you," I softly smiled. It felt like the muscles around my lips were dusty and cold.

"Call me if you need anything."

I watched as she pulled off, along with the rest of the students as they tried to rush to get home. After twenty-five minutes had passed, I found myself sitting on the pavement against Baylor's car as I waited for him to get out of school for what occasion he had going on that I do not know of.

I heard a door shut and my stomach fell.I grew nervous to see him. I grew nervous to approach him. I grew nervous to speak to him. Why was I nervous all of a sudden? This is Baylor - a person who is easy to speak your mind to; a person who loves to be weird around you once he knows you personally.

I saw him, and I made eye contact with him, finally. He stopped just a few yards away as his face fell pale when he saw me. His appearance was still rough: messy bed hair and a hairy face.