Behind the scenes

Chapter 11

Changkyun and Hyungwon (Hyungwon with white hair)

"What the hell was that?" Jooheon growled, talking more to himself than anyone else as he scratched his head.

"It's OK hyung, we handled it well anyway," I responded, still unable to shake off the daze that had stuck with me ever since my encounter with Beomsoo. The whole situation in the interview seemed to make it worse. Nothing felt right. I felt like my limbs weren't connected. Like my brain was smothered with a blanket. Like I was looking at myself through a hazy mirror. Was this normal?

"You handled it well Changkyun, we didn't do anything," Kihyun reminded, reaching forwards and resting a hand my knee. If I hadn't been in such a daze, I probably would have flinched away.

"What are we doing now? Did we have anything else planned for after the interview?" Minhyuk asked, unbuttoning the top few buttons from his shirt to allow for some breathing room.

"We now have a dance practice that Beomsoo is sitting in on to monitor our progress. I think he's also sitting in so he can also spend more time watching over and getting to know us." Wonho replied, glancing down at a piece of paper he held in his gloved hands. It took everything to not visibly show my frustration as I closed my eyes and bowed my head forwards. I didn't know about the others, but I was too tired for another long, hellish practice. My legs throbbed with aches and stung from all of the walking last night and the cutting over the past few days. My back also had now begun to hurt more because of how much my spine was beginning to stick out and rub on things. And my head was thumping away more than normal, sleep deprivation, hunger and stress seriously beginning to take its toll. You brought this one yourself. You have no one else to blame but yourself. The voice was right, like always. This was my fault. I brought this on myself. I am to blame "It just means that we all need to be on our best game to show Beomsoo that we are a capable group ready to debut."

"Yeah," Minhyuk continued, giving me a sideways glance that didn't hold back the venom very well. "That includes you Changkyun."

****

"Don't feel to pressured by the fact that I'm hanging back here, it's just so I can become more familiar with how you work as a group and how you are as people," Beomsoo began, finding his seat on my chair. From where he was sitting, he would have a very clear direct view over all of us, meaning if any of us mess up then he would be on our asses.

Or, more accurately I guess, on my ass. 

"Trespass?" Wonho questioned, observing as we all nodded our heads. "I figure, we should do maybe three runs before moving onto another? I think that's a dance we're all more or less confident on anyway"

"Yeah, sounds good," Shownu agreed, pressing a few buttons on the speakers before hearing the faint build up to the beginning of the song. Within seconds, everyone had switched on and ready to dance, positioning so we were ready to begin. You don't have to put all of your energy into every move like you normally do - if you do that then you will pass out for sure. Just...use enough energy so it looks like you actually care, just so your not a flailing mess like usual. Glancing up to the mirror, I noticed from the corner of my eyes that Beomsoo was sat so that he only had to look forwards and I would in his line of sight. Looks like I would have to make sure that every move was executed perfectly or who knows what he would do. I wasn't willing to test him after what happened in that hallway. 

But of course, I should know by now that things never go to plan.

By the second chorus I was already sweating buckets, my clothes disgustingly sticking to my skin. I knew I should have taken my jacket off before the dance. I knew I should have had a drink before we started the dance. I knew I should have slept more last night. I knew I should have done a lot of things.