Behind the scenes

Chapter 10

Apologies for taking so long to update, motivation has been very low recently for some reason. Also, this chapter is a bit bad because I had some writers block for most of it :D:D:D:D

Also, how are you liking this so far?

Is there anything that you guys would like to see happen?

Also, I am sorry but there is lot's of time breaks. It's bad. Can you tell me if it breaks the flow of the chapter?

There is a story behind how I woke up in Jooheon's bed.

Honestly, there is.

As soon as I'd said that I'd been starving myself, Jooheon had immediately wrapped his arms around me and yanked me into a hug, refusing to let go. It struck me then that at that moment, I hadn't really witnessed Jooheon openly cry before. It wasn't anything much, just a few shaky, inaudible sobs and a few stray tears but even then, Jooheon was one of those people that you really didn't want to see cry. It was heart-breaking. Thankfully, Hyungwon had been quick to grab a few napkins and hand them over, allowing Jooheon to finish wiping his tears away. He'd then immediately gone and brought a fruit salad, shoving it in front of me with a determined fire in his oak brown eyes. 

"Please, even if it's a bite. Just something so you're not running on empty."

In the end I managed to swallow and stomach some of it. By some of it, I meant I ate the watermelon because it was the least calorific and then left the rest after Jooheon had deemed it to be enough for now.

Once we'd left, both Hyungwon and Jooheon had remained silent, looking to be deep in thought as they stayed close to my side. 

When we got back to the dorm, Jooheon had demanded I sat at the table with them for dinner, watching me as I managed to swallow a few mouthfuls of whatever was put on my plate. I mean don't get me wrong, the food was delicious to the point I had to pinch myself to not eat, but the voices were very loud. They had already been bombarding me since the watermelon and the dinner had just made it even worse. When Jooheon had made me get in the shower, it was inevitable that I would end up cutting some more. The stinging sensation. The blood that run down my leg. The release and the silence in my head? It was all worth it. Even though I was mutilating my body in the process, it kept me sane. 

I mean, the guilt was crushing afterwards but...I was still sane.

The moment I'd left the bathroom Jooheon had been there, guiding me towards his bed and pointing at the second pillow with a bright smile.

"You're sleeping with me tonight Kyunnie," he stated, not leaving much room for discussion. 

"O-OK hyung..."

I figured this was Jooheon's way of showing support. 

So, when I got into the bed, I wasn't really that surprised when Jooheon wrapped his arms around me and pulled me in for a hug. I just let him do it. It was nice anyway and it kept me warm. 

Plus, I fell asleep within minutes. No late night thoughts. No voices screaming to keep me awake. No urge to run to the bathroom and do anything. Just...sleep.

For the first time in a long time, I had a good nights sleep.

(I'm not shipping them by the way. There is no shipping in this book, it's just purely platonic friendship)

****

"Did you have some breakfast after your shower?" Jooheon asked, leaning closer to me as I slowly nodded.