Man Down (Markiplier x reader)

Chapter 23

*Amy's P.O.V*

Congratulations! You have a new match!

With one hand in my jacket pocket, I stared at the small device in my other pale hand, rereading the message a couple of thousand times. I pushed the phone closer to my face, and read it again while squinting, making sure this wasn't the act of the devil.

Congratulations! You have a new match!

I pulled the phone away, looking out into the dark road ahead of me because I couldn't believe my eyes. "Something ain't right about this," I mumbled and entered my car, turning on the engine but not removing the emergency brake. Staring at my phone once again, I opened the notification. It was the last person I swiped on the elevator. The young man's bio was very vague, saying that he likes staying indoors and playing video games, but I didn't think too much about it. The only thing that attracted me was his nice green eyes that were on his profile picture. The man named Kevin, aged 27 who lives in Washington, texted me first and polite

ello

I started to go through an internal crisis, not knowing what to say. I couldn't believe myself. I was freaking over a simple introduction, I felt like I was a middle school girl. 

Hi! 

For the most part, I was pretty surprised. Conversations on Tinder don't really start like this. From my previous knowledge, corny and painful pick-up lines are used to assert dominance. Such casualness is forbidden on this site, which made me think if I should be the one who should attack first-

u very pretty girl

There was a long pause after this message, but he was typing. I decided not to interfere and say thank you. Meanwhile, I started to think to myself again. Am I actually doing this? Me, Amy Nelson, talking to a man on a dating website? That's how you know that end of the world is near.

how big are u bobs?

The smile on my face was quick to drop. A random, middle-aged Indian man catfishing: the most overplayed joke in the book. I should have known by how many spelling errors were in his bio.

send bob pics plz

how big are u bobs

can i feel u bobs?

where u live can i feel u bobs?

Uh, no.

okok,

my bad.

There was a small period of time where neither of us said anything. I took that as an indicator that he was done asking for my "bobs", and I placed my phone down, starting to drive. Not going to lie, kind of funny. Such an entertaining moment to end the stressful night off. Before I could even get out of the driveway of the building, my phone buzzed again. I only laughed.

how wet is u cat?

can i eat u cat

where u live can i eat u wet cat

Ok, that was enough tinder for the night. I immediately blocked the so-called Kevin, and went on with my night, driving home while playing music from my playlist. I nodded my head slightly, finally feeling the effects of a hard day's work kick in. I drove quickly because I couldn't wait any longer to go home and sleep, stopping at Mcdonald's to buy dinner.

"Thank you," I said as I grabbed my hot food from the drive through window, turning up the volume slightly as I headed to my final destination.

"....geogi neo I fancy you.."

--

I opened the door to my house, placed my belongings near the foot of the island and placed my keys in their appropriate position. I wasted no time getting out of my jacket and shoes, and changed into nothing but an oversized grey tshirt. I had to rush because my food was slowly getting cold.

At the same moment I put on the shirt, my phone started buzz. I grabbed the small device from my bed, brought it with me down to the living room and checked it while I finished the fries, desperately searching for extras at the bottom. It's weird, but fries at the bottom of the bag hit differently than fries in the actual container.

Grabbing a blanket, I sat down comfortably on the couch with my meal, turning on the TV for background noise when I read the new notification on my phone.

Congratulations! You have a new match!

I sighed again. I couldn't be bothered to endure another round of harrassment from someone's dad. If anything, even thinking about this is a big waste of my time. But, going against my own rules, I opened the notification.

This time, it was a more "trustworthy" person. It was a brown eyed, brown haired gentelman name was Miles, who works as a nurse here in Los
Angeles. His bio was a little more full and more insightful on him and what he likes. It mentions how he wants to "take things slow", but only I can be the judge of that.

Hello.
I really dont know how to use this app so forgive me for being very awkward on the first texts😅

I was taken aback a little. He could be lying for all I care, but it was kind of cute. He seemed very flustered.

Hi there!
It's okay, I dont know anything else about Tinder either!

Omg that's a relief.
You're very pretty in you're pictures, does the same apply in real life?

I burst out laughing. For someone who isn't really good with this app, he's very cocky.

To boost my self-esteem,
Yes I am😉

Omg you actually sound real😅

Why? Am I supposed to sound some type of way?

No it's because I've been catfished twice by two Indian men. It was a weird altercation. They asked me how big my "bobs" are, even though I clearly state that I'm a guy😪

My eyebrows raised as soon as I finished reading the first line. I really thought I was the only one to get catfished. It's unfortunate that those guys really don't have anything better to do with their lives, but I guess that's the element. It's nice to know that I wasn't the only person who had a lot of their time stripped away from them.

You're lying
I was catfished by Indian guys too!
It's nothing I'm proud about, but thank God someone shares the same pains as me😣

Ngl, its soooooo annoying😪
It happens almost all the time.
Two people would match with me everyday and they would harass me.

And to think there are more victims...
We should really send a letter to CEO of this app...

Miles and I continued to talk throughout the whole night, getting into things like our occupations smd hobbies. The conversation went smoothly, I enjoyed myself and I felt a real connection when he said that he watched some of my favourite underrated animes of all time. It hit me on a different level, and we promised each other that we'll talk again.