Always You || Patrick Cripps

37.

Georgia's POV

After 2 weeks of this, I was finally feeling like I could one day be happy again. In my own skin, with everything that had happened to me, I could still find happiness.

I wasn't there yet, but I was getting closer and closer each day.

Pat had been wonderful. Taking care of me the whole time.

My bruises had almost completely healed. Which just left the damage that was done to me mentally.

I had been sleeping at my house for the past week but going to Pat and Marcus's as much as I could for dinner to keep myself entertained.

I wasn't going back to work for a while so the days were spent at home, trying to keep myself occupied. With Pat constantly dropping in to bring me things and make sure I was okay.

Josh had gone back home a few days ago. And I was feeling alright about it. Obviously I never wanted him to leave. I wish he lived closer to me. But I was coping better than I thought I would.

Everyone was still really worried about me but I assured them that I would be fine. I tried to tell them how I felt. Always trying to assure them that they didn't need to watch over me 24/7.

But ultimately, there was no stopping that. They were all too caring for their own good. Especially the boys.

It was just the times where I would accidentally revise everything that happened that night. Everything they did to me. It ran through my head and I had no control over it.

It mostly happened during the night. I would shoot up out of my bed and start having a panic attack. I would try and calm myself down, so I didn't have to call Pat. But it never worked.

It always ended with me ringing his number and holding it to my ear as my breathing hitched and I choked on my tears.

I wish I could stop it from happening because it was the only thing not allowing me to be happy.

More importantly, it was hurting Pat. And I knew that. He didn't know that I knew. But I do. All my calls, all my problems, it was disrupting him and his life.

All I wanted to do was get over it. But there were so many things stopping me from getting to that stage.

So I continued to rely on him, as much as it hurt me to do. I just had to hope that he wouldn't take it too far.

The last thing I needed after all that had happened was Pat in trouble.

Because even after my tears had dried and my wounds healed, my sense of self remained in tatters.

I felt like a distortion of what I once was, unable to find my way back. Each day was a thing in itself, I didn't dwell in the past or look to the future.

My loved ones wanted me back. They wanted the same girl they loved before, the girl who brought them sunshine. How could I tell them those rays just weren't there? That I was barely there?

The doctor prescribed pills, the counsellor listened and had all the right words. But I had to accept that I would be a different person from here on in.

That person would be more cautious, less trusting of strangers, more fearful. Had put imaginary walls up inside of me, trying to protect myself from all sorts of pain.

Those walls were previously up already but now, they were protecting a different type of pain and emotions. Physical pain and trauma. Something I hadn't endured until now.

Everyday for the 2 weeks, I had seen Pat as he came over to take care of me. I was starting to get worried about him and how much he was visiting me.