Always You || Patrick Cripps

49.

Georgia's POV

There was nothing left to describe the way I was feeling. Hurt. Betrayed. Humiliated. Those were all words I had used prior to Josh's arrival when expressing my emotions.

I had moved past that stage in my uplift of spirits, in my improved outlook on life. I was now past the fits of tears for now. I had better things that had my full attention.

Of course he would always stay put in the back of my mind. But I was making progress. I had come to terms with the fact that it hadn't gone the way I planned it to, and somehow I had to move past it. I couldn't hold onto that one moment for the rest of my life.

Living my life with regrets was a great fear of mine. I wasn't going to dwell on those I couldn't control. If Pat and I had worked out, I would be in a very different position. But I was accepting that not everything was going to go my way. And that sometimes, people do grow apart.

They lose touch, lose that bond and never regain it. Even in some of our bigger fights, I never saw us losing any touch. I always knew I would be there for him, and he would be there for me. But the lack of respect and human decency I received from him was below par.

Myself and those around me would definitely describe me as a perfectionist. I think that's why when something so important to me didn't go the way I planned, I freaked out. It always ended in consolation.

Maybe I was too positive about these things I cared so deeply for. It was possible that I put too much trust in those I loved. That's why it hurts so much more when it all comes crashing down.

But since Josh had arrived, which had only been 1 or 2 days,  my spirits had been lifted in an enormous way.

I will never know how he does it. There is just something about my brother that radiates the type of buoyancy that everybody needs. The easiness and calmness and I feel when I talk to him could never be replaced.

He helped me to take a breath. After all this time, he just came in and had an impact instantly. He allowed me to look past what I was refusing to let go. It was the ultimate distraction to have him in Melbourne.

Even though I would never entirely overcome the rift between myself and Pat, there was a temporary fix that I was taking advantage of.

Starting with work, I planned on using that as my primary distraction. It was just a bonus that I got paid to do the thing I loved.

I was already ready, hoping to get in early and prepare myself for the day which I could already tell would just drag on.

Picking up all of my things, I headed towards the door. Making sure I had everything, I looked around a few extra times to ensure I wasn't going to forget anything the way I usually did.

I said goodbye to Billie, leaving her with Josh who was out for the morning. I juggled all of the things in my arms with great difficulty as I reached towards the door. Eventually getting a handle on it and swinging it open quickly so it wouldn't slam on me.

It seemed every time I spoke too soon about moving on with my life. Just as I did, those things that haunted me, just crept back in to my detriment.

I examined the person in front of me, having to stare for a few seconds as my morning vision was letting me down. Ultimately, I always knew it was only ever going to be one person, but I struggled to believe he just wouldn't leave me alone.

He appeared to carry some commiserations in his being. Flashing a shy smile, as if just to say he wasn't here to argue or defend himself. As if he knew he was in the wrong.