Always You || Patrick Cripps

17.

Georgia's POV

Tash and Grace hadn't yet learnt about what happened between Pat and I.

As of now, they were oblivious to it all.

To the fact that Pat kissed me. That he left me standing alone to ball my eyes out. And that he had been ignoring me for the past few days. Leaving me to think what happened was my fault.

They knew the way I felt about him. They really wanted us to be together but also promised me that they wouldn't interfere.

I was thankful that they respected my decision to keep my feelings for Pat a secret. But now that things had changed, maybe their feelings about that would change too.

It was only 4 days after the situation and I still wasn't feeling better. I was down about everything. I hadn't got out of bed and I didn't feel like eating anything.

Everything reminded me of how embarrassed I was about what happened. I never thought my first kiss with Pat would unfold the way it did.

I felt sick to my stomach every time I thought about the way it unfolded. The look on his face afterwards made me feel physically ill.

I never knew I could feel so insecure about myself.

When you love someone that much. You dream about your first kiss. From the lead up to it, to the location. I used to dream about the way it would happen but I never imagined it like this.

The way he looked at me after he pulled away. It was like a look of disgust. Disgust after kissing me?

Disgust with how it felt?

It was a horrible feeling. But I never thought Pat would make me feel the way he did.

I felt small and unworthy. He was always the one to cheer me up. To make me feel like I was amazing.

Yet I didn't feel that way right now.

Though there were things that I wanted to give up on during my life. My friendship with Pat was never one of them.

Until now. I couldn't seem to decide if putting myself through the emotional torture of love was worth it.

I wanted it to be worth it. Because that's how much I loved Pat. I needed him in my life in order to be happy. It just seemed like he didn't feel the same way.

Like my love wasn't reciprocated, and it was the worst feeling in the world. I wasn't asking him to be in love with me. I just wanted my friend back.

That's all I've wanted for months. The same guy that became my best friend almost 2 decades ago.

I heard a knock at my bedroom door and turned my head from my pillow to see who it was. They opened the door and I was relieved to see Tash walking in and coming over to my bed.

"George? You didn't come have breakfast" she said curiously. Obviously wondering what was wrong.

"Sorry I just wasn't feeling that well" I told her.

"Oh that's okay then. What happened though George. I know something happened between you two" she admitted.

"How do you know that?" I asked defensively.

"George, I've known you long enough to know when you and Pat have a fight. You're a lot more down than usual. Plus you went through a horrible breakup on top of that" she said picking up my hand and holding it comfortingly.

"Okay I'll come out in a minute. Just let me get dressed" I told her.

"Okay no worries" she said and left me in the room to get dressed.