She's Broken

Chapter 32

                “You’re doing well,” she praised, putting her clipboard down on the arm of her chair. I smiled back, rubbing my sweaty palms on my jeans. In the armchair, I felt small, vulnerable and surprisingly claustrophobic.

                The room itself was a lot nicer than my old therapists, it wasn’t quite as entrapped and I didn’t have any memories of my first statement haunting me. Ally had come on my first visit and had a brief chat with the doctor about her progress before talking through the case with me. She’d gone on her honeymoon two days before, the day after the wedding but had made sure to leave me with as much love, support and help as she could.

                “Are you sure? Because you wrote quite a bit down,” I said uncertainly, fiddling with the hem of my t-shirt. The doctor grinned, picking her clipboard up. When she twisted it around, there was a small picture of a kitten and a food dish.  I raised both of my eyebrows, letting out a chuckle.

                “I have to look like I’m doing something productive, that officer is quite scary and I needed to look professional,” she said with a wink. “I normally write down some things that clients need to improve on. You need to improve on very little, if anything, just your confidence on answering the questions,” she continued. I nodded to let her know I was listening.

                “Remember, Finn and Steven are both going to be in that room, you need to show them that you’re still going on strong, it’s going to be them that’s stuck in the mud,” she said. The side of my mouth quirked and I nodded, thanking her.

                She got up and trailed after me to the door, holding it open for me, leaning on the frame. When she opened it, Eli came into sight from the waiting room. He had his earphones in and his feet were gently tapping with the tune of his music. He looked isolated, nervous and scarily in control as he sat there. When he looked up and his eyes met mine, I felt a jolt of relaxation hit me square in the stomach.

                I said goodbye to the doctor and nestled myself under Eli’s arm when he walked over to greet me. We walked in silence until we got outside and into the gentle breeze. We’d promised that with Ally away, we’d go down to Miss Holdana’s shop and help her stock take and give her a bit of company.

                The streets were borderline empty as we walked down. I was always half expecting to see Steven walking down this road, stalking me out like prey for bringing him down with Finn. Eli gave my arm a squeeze, bringing me out of my daydream.

                “Mum was asking how you were getting on. Do you fancy going to see her later?” Eli asked. I looked at him, squinting in the sunlight and nodded.

                “Sure, I’d like to see her, anyway. To make sure she’s okay and everything. You should bring her around for dinner at some point,” I offered but Eli shook his head, running his hand through his hair in discomfort.

                “I’m not sure that’s the best idea,” he started but I cut him off by stepping in front of him, stopping him in his tracks. With a grunt of defeat, he stopped, glancing at my petite hands on his larger upper arms.