Start Again | Choni

get your sapphic serpent hands off my body

Cheryl's POV

Music, my only sanctuary in this hell hole, was officially ruined. Of course Delaney was going to sign up, once she had discovered that Toni was in this class. Toni didn't seem that interested, but Delaney was all over her. "Hey, Cher, let's just ditch class and go." She suggested, but before I could respond, Delaney appeared from nowhere. "You want to sing to me again?" She asked sweetly, positioning her body between mine and Toni's. "Sure." She shrugged, brushing her off. I was secretly glad that she didn't appear interested, but maybe because I was there? Who knows.

Desperate to get away from Delaney, I excused myself to the bathroom and sank onto the floor, leaning against the wall. Only thirty minutes left, I watched the clock on my phone slowly tick away until I heard someone enter the room. I didn't look up until she was right next to me. "Cheryl?" "Oh, hi." I wiped my glassy eyes and stood up. "Hey, talk to me, Cher. What's going on?" "Nothing, I'm fine." She stared into my eyes and I looked away. "No, you're not. It's okay, you know. It's okay to admit you're not."

I slid back onto the floor and closed my eyes. "What do you want me to say, Toni? I'm not okay, and I can't fix this feeling." "Then talk to me, Cher, I'll listen." "I went somewhere, called the Sisters of Quiet Mercy, and they just made me more confused about myself than ever. I just, nothing feels right, and at school, around everyone, it just feels wrong. I don't belong here, I don't fit in." "Shh, you do, don't say that, Cher. Everyone has their right to be themselves, you don't need to conform to their standards. Ignore them, please. Just remember this, there is nothing wrong with you, okay?" I nodded and smiled. "We've got to go back." I sighed. "No, just stay here. I talked to Grundy, it's fine. Just relax, I'm here."

Her voice was so soothing, I love just listening to her talk. "Why don't you tell me about you, then?" I asked her after a moment of silence. "I mean, there's not much to tell, Cher. I grew up on the south side, with my grandfather. I officially joined the serpents when I was fifteen, and I've been living in Sunnyside Trailer Park for as long as I can remember." "Sunnyside Trailer Park? Like with Jughead?" "Yeah, we've known each other since like forever." I was surprised how much I didn't know about Toni, even though we connected so well.

"Can I ask you something?" She asked, her voice so soft and gentle. I had a bad feeling about this. "About what?" "I know about the Sisters of Quiet Mercy, and their medieval methods. Did they... did they try anything?" She asked slowly. "What? What are you talking about?" I stood up quickly. I didn't want anyone to know about the conversion therapy or my past, I was reluctant to tell her in the first place. "Cher, you've got to talk about it, it's not healthy." She stood up too, still trying to pull me towards her. "No, you don't get it, I don't ever want to talk about it. Ever. Nothing happened, okay?" She laid her hand on my wrist and I pushed her away. "Get your sapphic serpent hands off my body." I shouted, storming out of the bathroom and heading to the entrance.

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I had to leave. I walked home, I didn't care how long it took. Hermione was sitting at the table with her laptop but she shut it and looked concerned when I arrived, slamming the door of the apartment behind me. "Hey, hey, Cheryl, what's going on?" She asked. I sighed and sat opposite her, fiddling with the ends of my hair. "Is, is it bad that I don't want to talk about my past?" I finally asked. She took my hands in hers and squeezed. "Cheryl, you experienced a lot of trauma in a very short space of time, there is no denying that. I don't think it's healthy to bury all of those feelings deep down without addressing them, but I also don't think that you should let yourself be defined by those feelings. What happened to you, there's no excuse, and I've made my opinions clear to the sisters in that matter. But you can talk about it, you know, to me, or to a therapist, or possibly Toni?" "No, I can't go through it again. I don't want to put myself in that place again. It was a very dark place." I shuddered just thinking about it. "I know, sweetheart, I know. But you got through it, and that means that you are so much stronger than you think you are. You got through to the other side, the brighter side, and you can put it behind you. But you can only do that by letting go, letting go of the past, the baggage, the trauma. That only happens by talking. Opening up and talking about it, what happened, how it made you feel, and how you feel now."

I didn't respond as I thought about her words. She was so kind to me, why was Veronica just so horrible? "Hermione, why are you doing this? Being nice?" She looked down, a telltale sign that she knew something. "I'm going to tell you something, Cheryl, and it may be difficult to process, but I don't want you to feel like you have to talk about it if you don't want to." She started and I nodded to show I was okay with it. "Your mother, Penelope Blossom, she was my cousin, and your great grandpappy Blossom had two brothers, they were triplets not twins. After the tragedy of brother killing brother, our part of the family also broke away, my great grandpappy was terrified at the thought that he could be next, so he ran away, to Mexico. He started a new life, with a new name, and our family grew. I met Hiram, and when he told me he was from Riverdale, it reminded me of the family that I had left behind. I returned a few years before your mother and family passed away, and we reconnected. I promised her that I would stay and look out for you." I thought a lot, taking it all in. "So, we're related? You're a Blossom?" She nodded with a worried look on her face. "I should have told you at the beginning, but I wanted you to feel welcome because you were, rather than feel like you were only here because you're my niece." She explained. "No, it's okay, I understand. Thank you for telling me, Hermione."

I felt much better so I left to go to my room and took out my sketchbook. This time, instead of Toni, I drew Hermione. I drew my mother, and I drew myself. I was looking for the connection between the three of us, the resemblance, and then I saw it. Her eyes, they were so similar, staring back at me from the page, kind, brown eyes, exactly like Mother's. I breathed out quickly and shut the sketchbook. I'd definitely had enough for the day. Just before I fell asleep, my phone vibrated and I read the message.

I'm sorry for today, milkshake tomorrow morning? - T

Sure, it's okay. - C