Start Again | Choni

i didn't get to say goodbye

Cheryl's POV

I slipped into the Pembrooke, greeting Smithers with a smile, pushing my glasses up my nose and taking the stairs instead of the elevator. Don't ask my why, I've always been scared of elevators. Hermione was sipping a glass of wine with her feet resting against another chair, her glasses tucked into her blouse. She's okay when she's alone, but with Veronica, life is really just not worth it.

"Hey, Cheryl, you're early. Good day?" She asked, so I decided to sit beside her for a bit. "I-it was yeah, I met someone called Toni and she's really great." I didn't even realize I was smiling at the time. Hermione looked at me and she smiled, properly smiled, for the first time at me. It was almost like I had my mom back, someone who actually cared. "That's great, I'm glad you've got a friend already." We hugged and I was about to tell her about the music project when Veronica walked in, talking at the top of her voice. "Guess who won the dance off and got promoted to Senior Captain of the River Vixens today, mom!" She stopped when she saw us.

"Ronnie, why don't you sit with us, mija?" Hermione asked as she approached. She gave me a look before shaking her head. "Sorry, mom, I've got actual work to." She strode off to her bedroom, slamming the door loudly, making me tense up. "Don't mind Ronnie, she's just like her father. Why don't we go for a quick bite at Pop's to pass the time, eh? Just the two of us?" I agreed so she wouldn't be hurt or angry but before we left, I undid my hair from the braid and let it fall loose over my shoulders. I didn't care if it looked bad, the school wouldn't be sitting there, judging at how ugly I am.

"You look nice, Cheryl." Hermione commented as I slipped into her car. I smiled shyly and brushed my hair to the side. "Thanks." I said quietly. We rode in silence but from the corner of my eye I could see her looking at me every now and then. It felt weird going out with Hermione without Veronica, her own daughter. I always get shunned to the side when she's around, but I got used to it. It just doesn't happen that often.

Pop smiled when he saw me again and Hermione went to the bathroom. "Twice in one day." He winked before going back to get the coffee. I just got a side of fries whilst Hermione ordered a sandwich. We chatted about school and my music, which I didn't even think she knew about. "Oh yes, Cheryl, I have my sources." She winked as if reading my mind. "And I hear that your first project is to compose a piece with another student. How is that going?" I didn't know how to explain because it was just... different. It's the first project I've ever had to do with someone else. "Well, I got paired with Toni Topaz, she's really good." I kept looking down but whenever I looked up, Hermione was watching, smiling. "Can I ask you something?" Hermione didn't break eye contact so I nodded. "How long were you at the Sisters of Quiet Mercy for?"

I never really talk about that, I guess no one ever bothered to ask, but Hermione was so nice today. "Um, I lived with my family at Thornhill until I was ten. We were so close, me and my brother and my parents. But, my mother, she found something out, and, she didn't like it, so she sent me away. A few months later, there was a big fire at Thornhill and they all died. I, I was alone ever since." I felt the tears fall and Hermione leaned forward to wipe them from my cheek. When her soft hand touched my skin, it reminded me of how my mother used to touch my face when we were together. "I miss them so much. I didn't get to say goodbye to any of them." I said, hiding my face. Hermione moves my hands from my face and looked into my eyes, her eyes look so much like my mother's. I loved her, but I hated her at the same time. "Cheryl, thank you for talking to me. I will always listen, if you want me to. It doesn't matter when, okay?"

We got back quite late and as I was getting ready for bed, a slip of paper fell out of my pocket. I unfolded it and smiled when I read it. 'Here's my number, use it. Toni x.' I immediately dialed her number and waited for her to pick up. Part of me worried if it was a joke, a fake number, but my worries melted away when I heard her voice on the other side. "H-hello?" "Cheryl, I was hoping you'd call. How are you?" She asked, genuinely excited. I got good at reading expressions and emotions after spending so long at the Sisters. "Good. Tired. I had dinner at Pop's again." "Really? Wow, sounds fun. So, what's up?" "I was thinking, do you want to start our project later this week?" "Sure, how about the weekend? Do you want me to come to you?" I didn't want her to know I lived with Veronica Lodge at the Pembrooke. "Uh, how about we meet at Pop's first?" If she noticed me avoiding the question, she didn't say anything. "Sure, see you tomorrow, Cher." "Yeah, sure."

My good mood was dampened when Veronica stormed into my room without knocking. "H-hi, Veronica, is everything okay?" "Don't kid yourself, my mother will never want you, okay? When are you going to get it through that thick, stupid skull of yours, she's not your mother, you're not part of this family, and you never will be. You're just a charity case, you should be grateful that my mom agreed to take you, because no one else would." She said, her face an inch from mine, before slamming my door on the way out. I let out the breath I was holding and let the tears fall. I couldn't be bothered to wipe them away, so I just fell asleep on top of my bed, my glasses sliding off my face.

///

I did my usual braid that I was taught to do at the Sisters and wore a white blouse with a dark red skirt, my knee socks and black shoes. Veronica left in her Vixen uniform, probably just to show off, so I said goodbye to Hermione and walked to school, making sure I wasn't going to be late. Toni was standing by her bike at the front gates, ignoring everyone who was attempting to make casual conversation. She was the most popular girl, aside from Veronica, so what was she doing, just standing there? I didn't realize she was waiting for me until she left her bike and waved and walked towards me, grinning. Her outfit was so cute, she had two buns with the rest of her pink hair falling in perfect waves over her shoulders, and she wore a black crop top with shorts and fishnet tights and heeled boots.

"Hey." She smiled as I approached, pushing my glasses up. People were staring already, and the vixens were stalking the halls with their respective boyfriends. Veronica had her arms wrapped around the body of Archie Andrews, who was staring as Toni and I walked past. "So how about we just hang out this weekend, get to know each other and stuff, and then we'll start thinking about the music?" Toni suggested and I agreed. As we entered the student lounge, somewhere I hadn't yet had the courage to venture into, literally everyone gasped. Delaney, a tall, skinny, brunette dressed in a Vixen uniform, had been talking to Josie and the Pussycats, from my music class, and they stopped and stared when Toni led me over to a quiet corner. They started whispering and I knew they were talking about me.

Delaney came over with such a fake smile so I just looked down at my shoes whilst she talked. "Hi, Toni, would you like to hang with us for a bit?" Toni looked at me and I smiled, "I've gotta go anyway, see you later." I left before she could respond and headed straight to the art room. Drawing always help me to relax and calm down, so I pulled out my sketchbook from my bag and started to sketch. I sketched the first thing that came to mind: Toni.

By Kate Estes (I think)

I drew her eyes, the wrinkles at the corner of her lips as she laughs, her defined cheeks and her flowing hair. She was so beautiful, she was all I could think about. She shut the rest of the world out, so I didn't notice when Mrs Thomas, the art teacher, came and stood behind, watching over my shoulder. "That's amazing, Cheryl." She said, making me jump. "Sorry to startle you, dear, but that drawing is just wonderful. The way you've captured her personality and her expression so beautifully in one sketch, you have such a great talent." I smiled and turned the cover of my sketch book over. "Have you considered applying to art college?" I shook my head. "You should, you've got a real gift there, Cheryl."

I left the class in a reflective mood, thinking about the future beyond high school. I'd never really thought about going to college and moving away, I guess because my life had always revolved around Thornhill, and then the Sisters, so I never thought about anywhere else. Maybe it would be nice to start again and leave this all behind.