SNL 2020

Open Communication Pt1

Qing: Maybe we should just close this communication portal for now and sleep. That will be less stressful.

I nodded at his suggestion. We moved to get in our places on the bed. We laid there together, side by side, on our backs and stared up at the room's ceiling. I stared at the light fixtures attached to the ceiling and decided that I should be nakedly honest with Qing.

Me: (still looking up) You are wrong. I lied. I regret that moment. If I will be given a chance to go back to that place, I will say yes. I will kiss you and take that ring on my finger...

Qing: (cutting my words) Why are you telling me this?

Me: (moving sideways to stare at his profile) I am being honest. I want to be honest. I don't think I am ready for marriage, Qing. I am not sure about being engage either. But I always intend to say yes if ever you will propose to me. I do. I planned that too. It came much earlier than I expected and I panicked but you have to know...I always intend to say yes to you.

Qing kept his eyes on the ceiling of our room. I felt sad for him. I think my honesty is not doing anything to make him feel better. In the end, open communication still failed him. I still failed him.

Poor Qing.

I turned away from him when I felt hot wetness on my eyes.

Me: Goodnight.

I closed my eyes because I decided that sleeping might be my best option now. It will be hard but I have to try. And just when I thought I will get a win and sleep will come to me...Qing spoke again.

Qing: Our parents know, Dayu ah.

Me: (mumbling) Our parents know what?

Qing: (sighing in resignation) That I will propose to you.

It took me about three seconds to process that in my head before my eyes opened up and I found myself suddenly sitting on the bed. I turned my head to Qing. My brain short circuiting.

Me: W-what do m-mean that our p-parents know? T-they know about y-your p-proposal to m-me?

Qing sat up as well. He winced at me and nodded. I found myself shaking my head to him. I think my body is moving in a pace faster than my brain could catch up. That's why I am getting surprised that my body parts are doing stuffs that I was not sure my brain has command it to do. 

Me: (still shaking my head) They don't know.

Qing: Dayu ah...

Me: They don't know. They don't know. There is no possible way. No. They don't know...

I turned my body to climbed off the bed. Qing tried to reach for me but I pushed his hand away as I think about the ramification of what he just confessed to me.

Me: (still trying to wrap it all up in my head) You said you nobody else knows. You told me that you did it all by yourself. You...do things on your own sometimes. You do that. Wang Qing!

Qing: (kneeling on our bed) Dayu ah! Calm down!

Calm down?! Did he just really...?

My heart started pounding on my chest again. Just like in that meadow...I am panicking again. It's happening again. Why is it happening again?

I stepped away from the bed.

Me: (in a soft wondering tone) You told me no one knows.

Qing: I lied.

I stared into his face and Qing gave me a grimace.

Qing: You know me. I do things in the right way. And I have manners. So of course I spoke to your parents about this. Then I approached my parents. They were very encouraging...