Secrets | Zayn Malik

» [43] Closure «

december 24

Suddenly I felt my face turn pale, my fingers cold as if my heart had stopped pumping blood to them because there was only one other thing he could tell my mom right now; whether it was to be a petty bitch or just a complete asshole, I piped up quick. "Tristan I swear to God--"
"Maci Renee Holmes," my mom interrupted, using that one annoying mom voice and even added a little touch by calling me by my full name. She grabbed my hand and pulled me close to her, the happy look she had earlier wiped gone from her face as she basically towered over me. "We're going to have a talk later but for crying out loud stop being so fucking rude," she let out a deep breath, stared at me for another few seconds before looking at Tristan with wide eyes. "Tristan," she held her hand out, her palm facing the ceiling. He exchanged glances between the two of us and I held my breath as he opened his mouth to answer her, mentally preparing how the hell I was going to live out these next few months because no way my mom was going to let me stay here after making a stupid decision like getting pregnant. 

"Mel is pregnant," Mel. Holy shit. And at this very moment I let out the loudest, shakiest breath on the entire planet that both Tristan and my mom glanced at me again. I pushed my tongue against my teeth that I had apparently been grinding for God knew how long and as I sat up straight Tristan shot me a wink. The hand on my arm squeezed me a little tighter but I pushed her grip off of me and walked towards Tristan, swinging my arm around his and literally pulling him off the stool.
"Alright well, I have a lot of shit in my car--"
"In your car?" My mom interrupted as I kept my back to her. "Your car's been in the garage since school started, what are you talking about?"
To my surprise Tristan seemed to have gotten the hint and didn't make me struggle as he completely let me just drag him out of the kitchen and to the front door. Yelling behind my shoulder, I answered my mom. "You said we'll talk later, but I'm going to have my ex boyfriend help me carry my stuff in and then he has somewhere to be."
I felt him let out a low laugh behind me and I turned around briefly to shoot him a glare before opening the door and stepping out. Tristan followed in my footsteps just after he shouted a goodbye to my mom and in seconds we were both standing at my front door with the entrance completely shut, nothing but the cold winter air in between us.

"That wasn't funny."
"I thought it was."
"What are you doing here Tristan?"
He shrugged his shoulders, digging his hands into the pockets of his jacket. "I wanted to see you."
"Oh bullshit," I turned away and began to walk towards his car to politely tell him to leave and that I had no intentions of ever seeing him again but he grabbed my elbow and stopped me. "Can we go to my car?"
A little stunned at how quickly he caught on, I frowned at him instead, looking down at his hand and yanking my arm away from his grasp. He shook his head like he shouldn't have seen that coming and breathed out, a trail of warm air flowing from his lips. "What, you going to kidnap me now?"
He opened his mouth and shut it quickly, almost narrowing his eyes as he stared at me intently. He reached out but halfway stopped and put his arm back down and I nodded at this action, letting him know that was the closest he was going to get to me from now on. "No, Maci, Jesus, I just want to talk and it'll be warmer in my car than standing out here in the cold. Why would you ever think that?"
Ignoring his question and even mentally asking myself why the hell I would say something like that to him in the first place mainly because this was Tristan I was talking to, I stepped back and pointed my head in the direction of his car. "After you then."
Tristan was hesitant at first and kept staring at me with that strange look on his face, as if he was almost concerned about me before pulling out his car keys from his pocket. I followed close behind as he unlocked his car and after politely opening the passenger door for me, I climbed in and watched him walk around the front of his blacked out and tinted Dodge Challenger before getting inside and taking a seat into the driver's side. I stared at the dash in front of me and after blinking away images of the blood that had splattered everywhere a few days ago in the truck, I sat on my hands as he turned the car on. Heat blew from the vents and he turned a switch that caused them to direct their airflow towards the front and back windshield just as Tristan sighed loudly.
"I take it your mom doesn't know yet?"
"Of course not," I answered him without making any eye contact.
"Are you ever going to tell her?"
"Why do you care, Tristan?" I looked up and stared at my white garage door, blinking a few times as the window become foggy. "It's not yours."
"How would you know that?"
And it was this moment I faced him, my eyes stern and direct. "Because you always pulled out."
He rolled his eyes and laid his head back against the seat. "You can still get pregnant without having me to come inside you, Maci."
"Oh yeah you would know. I mean, look at Mel, right?"
And now he was annoyed. "Oh for crying out loud," he yelled in his car and threw his hands up before punching his steering wheel. I sat there and watched him completely unfazed, knowing he would never have the guts to direct his anger towards me, physically, at least. "I didn't fuck her," he looked me right in the eyes as he said this.
I rested my elbow on the console that rested between the driver and passenger seat, and leaned in just a little closer to get a good look of his face, his eyes a blue gray color as he stared at me, waiting for an answer. "I know you fucked Gina so don't even try to tell me you didn't attempt to do the same to Mel, Tristan."
He tensed his jaw and flared his nostrils as he glared me down. I didn't budge in my seat and kept still, the air between us now heavy with unfinished business. "I wouldn't have fucked her if you didn't leave me in the cold, Maci. You shut me out like you did with everyone else you didn't care about."
"We broke up, Tristan. I dumped you, remember?"
"No, I remember you smashing my face into the coffee table and then watched you clean up my blood and the coffee, giving absolutely zero fucks about the fact that I was bleeding out of my nose. You broke my fucking nose, Maci."
"I wouldn't have done it if you weren't being such an arrogant bastard. And from the looks of it it seems like you came out of it fine."
"So you're going to get mad at me for reaching out to your friends because I couldn't get a hold of you? Does that make any sense?"
I shook my head. "Reaching out and making a move to fuck are two very different things."
"You disappeared for a week. Then you came back a -- a stranger. I got in touch with the police and everything; whatever happened to you when you were gone -- I don't think you realize the toll it took on everyone else--"
Oh here we fucking go. "Don't do this, not right now."
"Do what?" He raised his voice again. "Let you know how much of a toll it took on everyone else around you when you disappeared? Jesus Christ," he used his hand to rub his eyelids closed before opening his eyes again. "You didn't give me closure Maci. I loved you -- I mean, fuck. I think I still love you--"
My eyes widened as I inhaled a sharp breath hearing those words come out of his mouth so I quickly interrupted him, making sure he was paying attention to me. "You do this thing where you refuse to take the blame for anything, Tristan. You make yourself look like the victim and not once have you apologized for all this shit you've stirred up and now you want to show up looking like the good guy? You want closure?"
"I--"
I put my finger up, my shoulders shaking a little as I spoke with a small tremor in my voice. My stomach felt uneasy and despite the fact that his heat was in full blast inside his car, I felt chilled to the bone. "You and I, we're done. I don't care if you think it's because of Zayn, whatever; I don't really care what you think because we're completely over with and I don't love you anymore. So please, because I think some part of me still cares about you just a little bit, I'm sorry for ever treating you so badly that you're out here blaming everyone else for the actions you did. I've gotten it through my head that you went behind my back and hooked up with my best friend after we broke up, but don't you dare come to my home, act like you're best friends with my mom, only to tell me I shouldn't be mad at the fact that you had sex with Gina because I started it. Because apparently leaving you alone for seven days, seven days, was a cue for you to go around and start shit behind my back," I sighed slowly and leaned away from him, putting my hand on his door handle. "Look, whatever the reason behind it, I don't care. Just don't blame me for using my best friend to get you and your dick off. And the whole stalking ex boyfriend thing? It's not cute, so please, just leave me alone. This kid isn't yours either so don't even try pulling that pretend baby daddy bullcrap," without waiting for an answer from him I opened the door handle and stepped out of his car, feeling the same as I did when I first crawled inside of it. Shutting the door behind me, knowing fully well that I didn't need any closure because this wasn't at the top of my list right now, I stepped around his car and before I could get to my front door heard his window roll down. I heard him say my name and for some reason only God knew I stopped in my tracks and shut my eyes tight, fighting every urge in my body to turn around and not beat the crap out of him after literally giving him what he wanted. "Tristan I gave you your closure. So do your part and leave me alone. Go home, enjoy the holiday dude," maybe go fuck my best friend again but hey. That's your fucking kink buddy.
"And what if I don't?"
Quickly I opened my eyes again and stared at him through the front windshield of his car. Despite the fact that the tint was so dark I knew I was looking him straight in the eyes. "If you don't what?"
"Leave you alone?"
"Then I'll have Zayn take care of you himself."
I heard him chuckle in his seat. "Oh, like that scares me."
I raised my eyebrow at him. "Don't get so cocky Tristan, I'd finish the job. He would just do the hard part, the labor and all that. I'm the one who knows how to get under your skin and inside that big stupid head of yours."
"Jesus Maci, this tough act you're putting up and this game we're playing between the two of us, you gotta stop babe. It doesn't look good on you."
I nearly gagged as the word babe left his lips and wondered how I managed to hear that word coming from him for so long. I nodded my head. "You're right, doing anything with someone like you never looked good on me. But you should know every time Zayn fucks me, his dick so deep and his hand so tight around my neck, is by far greater than anything you could've ever done to me. And the best part? He treats me with respect."
Tristan began to go off in his car but whatever words were coming out of his mouth I shut out and spoke over him. "Merry fucking Christmas and a Happy New Year, Tristan," I gave him a wink and flipped him off and before I could step foot back inside my house I heard him slam his hand down against the center of his steering wheel causing a few loud honks to come from his car. I managed to lock the door behind me when I finally crept back inside and kept my back against the door just in case he was going to come back running in here to keep arguing with me, but after a minute or so I heard his car speed off down the road.