Divergence is Dangerous || Currently Being Edited

Chapter Twelve

After a few minutes Edward wakes up. He wasn't beat too badly, he just has a nasty bruise under his jaw. I can't comprehend why they would make us do such a thing. To just keep fighting until someone cannot continue. The thought of Edward makes me sick, I can't believe I hit him down. I'm not happy about it, if what I detected about Edward was true. That he cared about me. Then I don't know how I can face him now. I'm afraid he'll seek vengace. We were told that last year someone stabed an initiates in the eye. But they never found out who it was. That's what scares me the most. Someone stabing me in the middle of the night. But something tells me that me Edward would never do such a thing. He's too caring. Too gentle. Maybe he let me beat him. He just too kind to see anyone to get hurt. Or does he actually care about me? I doubt it, no one likes stiffs. I may have gained a lot of strength, but I'm still weak. I feel at times I cannot continue, to the point where exhaustion has everpowered me. As we walk to dinner, I keep glancing at Edward. He's so fasinating. But I cannot keep looking at him. He'll think I see him a weakling. But that's not true, I see as anything but that. I see him as a compassionate, loving, strong person capable of many tasks. He's different I can feel it.

I walk up to him and tap his shoulder. He's so tall. "Can I talk to you?" I ask. I don't know why I'm even doing this.

"Get away from him stiff," hisses one of his friends.

"No you guys go away. I'm going to talk to Carter," says Edward defying his friends. They frown and walk away. "What do you wanna talk about?" he asks. I look at him. I get in eyes. They look like oceans with their clusters of light blue, and many other shades. I could get lost in his eyes and leave this world.

"Oh. I just wanted to say that I didn't want to hurt you," I say. I sound like a wimp. I want to defy my feeling for Edward. To say that 'I don't care'. I can't I do care. I care about Edward. But he'll never feel the same way. This is new for me, this feeling of compassion. Something I've never felt. Now it burst inside of me, it is ampliled a thousand times.

He looks at me. I sense something, but I can't quite figure out what.

"It's just so much stuff has been going on. I can't tell you exactly what it is. But I can tell you this...Just don't make fun of me," I say. I don't know why I'm opening up so much. My life now is just filled in a web of secrets. I just know that I can't keep my feelings from Edward any more. Or they might just burst out against my will. He nods. "Look....I...I care about you. So it really hurt me when I saw you on the floor." I say. I know it probably wasn't a good thing to open up to him. If probably would be better if I kept this to me.

He smiles, his teeth showing. His face is brighting up. "I care about you too Carter," he says. I just stand there. I can't do anything, I can't explain anything. But I can feel my face brighting up. I release a smile.

"I just don't know what to say," I say. I can't really say anything else. My heart is speeding up, my Adrenaline filling my soul. Energizing me, as if filling my body with something. Love? I can't tell. I walk forward, not stopping myself. He comes closer as well. Soon nothing separates us. I step up, trying to get to face level. He wraps his hands around my waist, pulling me in closer. I close my eyes and I feel his soft lips brushing against mine. His warmth filling me like honey. So soft and sweet. We pull away, we're smiling at each other. I walk into the cafeteria together. His arm around me. I can feel every transfer looking at us. I've gotten used to this attention. After the Aplitude tests and the Choosing Ceremony. I found that attention isn't always the best thing. I look at Tris and Four. While Tris is smiling, Four is just looking. He's kind of like a overprotective parent in a sense. He's observing everything, his brain just seems to love knowledge. I wonder what he got for his Aplitude tests. Maybe he's divergent too. I walk to Tris and Four, steering Edward in the right direction. We sit down his arm still around me, he kisses me on my forehead. I smile.

"So when did this happen?" asks Tris, smiling.

"Tonight," I answer. I rest my head on his shoulder. Tris nods. She elbows Four, he looks at her and raises his eyebrows.

"What?" he asks rubbing his arm.

"Tell her what you said at lunch," she says.

"What he say?" I ask. These people feel like family.

"I said...." he trails off he looks embarrased. "That you and Edward would look good with each other," he sighs. I can't help from laughing.

"Well the almighty Four has a femime side!" I say laughing. He looks at me he looks so serious. He just shakes his head.

"I going to sit with my friends. Okay." says Edward. I nod he kisses me on my forehead and walks away.

"I feel like a monster," I say.

"Why?" asks Tris.

"I just like knocked out the guy I care about a hour ago," I say. "I feel like that Marcus Eaton," I mutter under my breath.

"Like who?" says Four his eyes widening.

"I'll tell you the whole story...." I say. I gulp. "When I was nine, one night I couldn't sleep. I heard screams. My curiousity got the best of me. And I ended up looking next door. To my neighbor Marcus Eaton.... and I saw him.....I saw him. Beating someone, looked like a teenage boy," I say the words just falling out. I see Four he looks horrible. His hands are shaking. Then something comes to mind. Is Four that guy? I don't know? But there's something telling that it's true.

"That was me," he mutters. I feel guilt arise in me. I could have made a change. Stood up to the government, make a difference. But instead I let fear fill me. I could of defied this feeling of helplessness. But it let it overcome me. I let it go too far. And Four will never be the same because of it.