The Elites

Chapter 60

Just a few more hours Kora.
Just a few more hours and the entire lecture building was going to be empty, or at least filled with a few people. I slowly reached for my phone from the floor. I held my breath when I stared at the screen. There were no missed calls, none at all. I didn't know why I felt disappointed, even though I knew no one was ever going to try and reach out to me, not that I had a lot of friends anyway. Grace was the only friend I had, even though lately, she was kind of far to reach. We barely did the things we used to do, or talked like we used to. She said she was too busy preparing for test week, so she didn't call, or want to hang out all the time, and I respected that. She hadn't even picked my calls all day. Thinking about Grace made me so worried. I couldn't help but ask myself why she was being distant. If it was really the test, or she was just trying to avoid me. If I did anything wrong. I exhaled, and then buried my head on my knee.

Churn

That was my phone churning.
It was the sound it made whenever I got a text message. I raised my head slowly, after taking about five seconds to myself, raising the phone to my face again.

Yes, I was right. It was a text message, but you wouldn't believe who it was from. I didn't believe who it was from either.

"Meet me at the pool in twenty minutes,"

Jeremiah.

He really texted me? I scoffed. I spent the next twenty seconds contemplating in my head. Asking myself the same questions over and over again. Why did I have to go? Why did I have to listen to anything he had to say? He was probably just going to walk over me again. I didn't need his pity, his help, or his explanations anymore. I was fine. I was going to be fine without any of them, without him, or anyone.

Sigh.

I hated myself.

For some reason, I got up as fast as I could. I didn't know why, but I wanted to see him. For a moment, I wasn't scared of going out in public anymore. The swimming pool was halls away from where I was, I didn't want to keep him waiting either.

"You're so stupid Kora."

I know you're probably thinking that, I thought the exact same thing. Why? What was it about him that I couldn't stay away from? Why was it that no matter what he did, no matter how much he humiliated me, I kept coming back for more? Wasn't it enough? Wasn't I tired of the humiliation? I wanted answers to all the questions in my head. Did I just have a soft spot for Jeremiah? did I like him? Was I attracted to him? Was Grace right all along? Now that I thought of it, I didn't fight him off at the gala. I could have, but I didn't, and I needed to know why.

I wanted to know why my heart kept skipping beats whenever I was with him, the same way it was with Luke. Even though I knew I had the answers to the questions I had, I just wanted more. I couldn't like him. Someone like Jeremiah, someone that disrespected me every chance he got, wasn't the kind of man I had always dreamt to be my recovery and escape place from what happened between Luke and I. How could I have feelings for someone that didn't even think of me as someone deserving of him? Someone that didn't like me? Someone that couldn't even bring himself to look at me?

Pathetic, Kora. Very pathetic.

Maybe this was for the best. Maybe I needed to actually meet him. Maybe I needed to hear him disrespect me one more time, or at least push him to the point where he could actually disrespect me more than he ever did. Maybe that way I could get angry to the point where I could actually hate him. Maybe it would make me worry and think less about him. Maybe I would stop caring whatever happened to him, if I just faced all of it heads on.

I took a deep breath, and shook my hands a little. I was in front of the door now, convincing myself that it was okay to walk inside that room, even though I knew that the moment I did, a lot was probably going to change. I could feel a chill breeze sweep through my skin. A weird feeling, a strange atmosphere. There was something about the hallway, It felt so cold, and there was no one in sight. Not like there used to be anyone in sight every other day, but that day, that day felt so different. I opened the door slowly, and then walked in. The lights came on.