He's back and he wants Revenge

Chapter thirty

Sometimes I imagine what it feels to be free, I watched as the birds flew from one tree to another chirping.... they had nothing to worry about.

What if I can be free like them?

I wonder how the world would be without people judging orders before finding out the real truth. My duty as the head girl was the least of my worries but still, I would have to address students and of course bear their glares.

Tears trickled down my eyes, one I didn't know had already formed. I felt used, incomplete, I felt dirty, I felt stupid, I felt betrayed.

"Hey" I heard Tony call and I immediately cleaned my tears and then turned to face him.

His face turned sympathetic as he spot my red and swollen eyes that matched my swollen face.....what do you expect when I've been crying since yesterday.

"Ummmh hi" I tried to force out a smile and look like I wasn't crying

"Adesuwa...." His voice came out concerned, I cut him off since I knew what he was about to say

"I'm fine really, you don't need to check up on me. I'm actually coping well"

"I can see that" he said in sarcasm " staring into blank space is how you cope"

I ignore him and tried to look anywhere other than him when he noticed he ran his palm on his face, maybe in frustration and then sighed

"Kezz might behave like he knows what he is doing but he's still a kid, he didn't....."

"Didn't mean to do it? " I stood up, the anger I've been holding since I watched the video resurfacing " you mean Kezz didn't mean to sleep with....sorry, rape me, video it and send it to the whole school" I scoffed surprise " I wonder why I'm surprised, of course you'll try to defend him after all he's your brother"

" This has nothing to do with with him being my brother, we've both been against each other but...." Tony tried again but I didn't let him go further

"Can you leave please"

"Adesuwa" he looked like he was pleading for me to listen to him

"Tony please just leave, I don't want to pour my anger on you" I said with my hands folded and I backed him

"Adesuwa"

I ignored him, he sighed and I guess left.

I thought I could survive with the looks, I thought it will fade away but nothing did. I had redrawn myself into my shell, I stopped speaking to Tony, I avoided Kezz and his friends like plague, I also avoided Justice and Joshua..... Tina was a different case, I couldn't avoid since we were in the same room and practically share everything. Chioma is the only person I talk to.

Weeks had gone by, we've started our early morning maths lesson before dinner and our early morning Saturdays maths and English class. We were preparing for JAMB exam but still anywhere and everywhere I went to, I got stares, got whispers and insults, my juniors no longer respect me even my bunkie.. school daughter gets insulted by her mates. 

When I knew I couldn't take it any longer was on a Sunday in FCS, I was supposed to take the Sunday School for the day since I was in Bible study unit.

I was to talk on purity.....I didn't want to take it, I didn't want to even be the center of attraction but Uredo pleaded with me, she helped me understand that God doesn't look at whether you're a virgin or not, he only looks at how pure your heart is.

I held those words in my heart and climbed the pulpit.

"Praise God " I said but no answer came " praise the Lord oo" just a few murmurs came through. I took the little I could get " today's topic is purity"

I heard laughters in the church but I shunned it and was about to continue when our patron in charge of FCS stopped me and collected the mic from me

"Praise the Lord" Mr Oghene said

"Hallelujah" the congregation chorused

"It has come to my notice that the altar if God has been insulted, people take God for a joke.....I don't think someone who is not pure should teach us about purity" he glared at me as I started at him with shock and tears filled eyes " Josiah, come and take Sunday school" he said and handed the mic to another student leaving me there to walk down the pulpit in shame.

That was the last straw, I couldn't take it anymore.... even teachers so me dirty and as a trash.

I went under the pavilion since I knew no one would find me there....I had to end everything....I had to stop the shame and pain....I tried to think of a reason not to do it but nothing came.

I want to be free like the birds.

With this last thought I took out the brand new razor I bought from the tuck shop, stared at the glinting ends. I knew no one would find me since I left during lessons.

I'm sorry Mom, Efo and Eso

I slit my wrist and drew my self to relax my back on the wall as I watched my blood drip from my wrist as I waited for darkness to take over.

"Adesuwa"

....

...

Happy New year Eve everyone

Just as I promised, another chapter down...we are coming to the end of this book

Do you support her act?

Do you think there's another way for her to overcome this? If so what?