What It Seems | Wattys 2023

Chapter 49

His eyes widened to the size of soccer balls. If he would stop staring at me like that, I could get the words out.

"Kissed," I finished. His nostrils were flaring as his breathing increased. I took my four fingers beside my thumb and wiped my tears away. His eyes were watery as well.

"What?" he asked shockingly.

I bit my trembling lip. "Adalynne, I can't believe you."

I pounded my hands on to the pillow once. "I can't believe myself, either."

He stood from the couch in anger and began walking towards the door.

"Baylor, please, let's work this out," I sincerely begged in tears. I stood from the sofa and limply ran to stand in front of him to stop him.

"What's there to work out? You're not trustworthy and you cheated on me. I've never cheated on you before," he spoke through a broken heart.

I sniffled, "I know, and I can't help but feel guilty about this. Baylor, I'm so sorry. Please forgive me," I cried.

"What's a relationship without trust, Adalynne? It's nothing. And if you were to cheat on me, you should've cheated on someone else besides Derek," he spoke disdainfully and disgust.

"Don't you ever speak to me again, Adalynne." His eyebrows clenched together, complete anger and sadness in his eyes, but he didn't dare show it except anger.

"He kiss -"

He shook his head. "It doesn't matter, Adalynne," he scornfully spoke. "A kiss is a kiss."

His eyes were dark and empty and his eyes were deeply into mine. I couldn't find to look at him directly in his eyes. He screwed his dark eyebrows together and pushed passed me. His body strength made me nearly fall, but once I turned around, he was gone. Like he'd never been here before.

I felt a big wave of sadness hit me like a bullet train. I tried to use the last bit of my strength to carry my body to my bedroom, but the farthest I could get was to the wall of the hallway. I fell to the floor, not minding one bit of my leg, and once I hit the carpet, my eyes spilled out the tears that I was holding in. My body was trembling and I was letting out cries and sobs. I couldn't breathe and all I felt was the hole sinking into my chest. My back flew against the wall and I leaned my head on the wall. My body was numb, my face was soaked in tears. Never have I felt like this before in my life. I needed him to come back and tell me that he forgives me, that everything will be okay.

Is this what heartbreak feels like? A deep, black hole in my chest? A feeling in you that something that means the world to you and it's taken away in a millisecond.

I tried pushing myself up from the floor. As I done so, I began walking to my room. I opened the door and saw disheveled sheets. I closed the door back and waltzed into Aiden's dark room. Thankfully, his sheets didn't smell like Baylor, that way no reminder could be felt of him. I laid on my stomach and clutched Aiden's pillow in my arms. I need my brother. Or my mom or dad. I wonder what my mom would've told me if she were here.

I wanted to work this out, this thing that went on between Baylor and me. I wanted to tell him so much that I love him so greatly, and that I was an idiot who didn't slap Derek for getting too close to me.

It shot through me, making my head pound.

That night, I laid there without love; without any comfort; without Baylor. Knowing that I wouldn't have him by my side tonight wasn't a comfortable feeling; it was odd. Truly odd.

It felt like I was having an anxiety attack, I could barely breathe or catch my breath. My sobs and cries have gotten the best of me.

I wonder what Baylor's doing right now. I wonder what he had to tell me.

I wonder how he feels.

"Adalynne?" a sympathetic voice asked. The light from the outside shown onto the wall adjacent from the wall his bedroom door was on.

I didn't answer. The only thing that could be heard was my sniffles and quiet sobs. The bed dipped in behind me, making my body slide a bit close to my brother.

"Why are you crying?" Aiden reached for my face and he ran his thumbs under my cheeks. He pushed himself over onto the other side of me. I wrapped my arms around his neck and as I done so, his strong, built arms pulled me into his body.

"B-bec-cause Baylor and I broke up." I trembled at the words being said in our embrace. I felt empty and pathetic.

"Why?"

I breathed shakily and told him the terrible scenes that happened.

"You kissed him or he kissed you?"

I shook my head. "Baylor said it didn't matter."

"It does matter," Aiden proclaimed.

I moved to lay my head on my brother's chest and he began to play with my hair. It felt amazing to have my brother here right now, but I want Baylor. I greedily craved him so much. I want to erase today's events. I just need a big, warm hug from him.

I want to lay right beside him. I want to play with his messy hair whenever it's a lazy day and pick on him about his dorky personality. I wanted to feel his warm, smooth skin against mine as we were half asleep at 3 a.m. on a school night.

***

I shook too much, too roughly as I was peeling my eyelids open.

"Adalynne, wake up!"

My head was pounding, the familiar feeling pouring into my body as I remembered this from a while ago. The nightmare that occurred just months before.

"Where's Baylor?" I questioned tiredly. I began crying into a pillow that didn't belong to me.

I didn't receive an answer but instead I was being pulled into Aiden's embrace. Now I remember how I got here.

When I began to cry all over again, I kept mumbling to Aiden.

"I want Baylor."