Forever a Ghost ✓

Matthew C. Roberts

She really kills me. Her smile, her laugh, never in my teenage years have I met someone that kills me like she does. Of course this only happens when I'm a ghost, huh?

It's now been two months since she moved in. I've had less trouble speaking to her, less pain (emotionally and physically), and we've grown closer already. Abbie is by far the best person to move into this house that I've ever had the greatest pleasure of meeting. I admire everything she does, and I know it isn't good for me because I'm not even human, but oh my Lord, I can't help but want to hug her and make her smile and blush. What's wrong with me?

It's immensely out of character for me to be this attached to her, but yet here I am.

I wish I could give her something like that, but unfortunately life, or afterlife, or whatever state of being I'm stuck in hates me.

It's ten at night, the time she's always drawing. It seems inspiration always strikes her at night when she should be asleep. She sits on the couch in the living room, sketching out a drawing I can't make out due to me laying on the floor next to her. It's peaceful, rain lightly hitting the roof, and so quiet. Much better than the party weeks ago. Neither of us want to break the comfortable silence.

I look back at her face. Her eyes stay locked on her sketchbook, deep in thought. She's gently biting her lip, a habit I've noticed she does when she draws. Her dirty blonde hair is pulled up, but some shorter hairs branch out into her face.

I feel like the luckiest man alive... Or I guess dead to be this close to her without any negative side effects.

She breaks away from her sketchbook at the sound of her phone ringing. Abbie immediately sighs and picks up her phone, answering it without hesitation. "Hey, what's up?"

She puts the phone on speaker and resumes her sketching.

"Hey, Abbie! So, I met this guy and he really seems like your type and... I guess I just felt like, since I have Ethan, you should have somebody too! I really think you guys will hit it off!"

"Wait, what?!" she puts down her pencil and stares at the phone.

"His name is Markus Allen! He's pretty goofy, but not obnoxious about it. I told him you'd be able to meet him tomorrow! And I know how much you hate first lunch dates, so I told him you'd be willing to meet up to go on a hike!"

"Wait, you... You're telling me you set up a date to go hiking with him tomorrow without my consent, nor knowing if I have anything planned?!"

"What? Oh, I knew you had nothing planned because I asked earlier about hanging out tomorrow and you said, 'I'm not leaving my house, so if you want to', and I know you like the outdoors! I've got you covered!"

"Aria-"

"Come on, please!" Aria begs. "I just want you to feel less lonely, you know? I know you, and I know you secretly would like a boyfriend. You've always gotten a bit lonely since Sophomore year!  Please give him a shot!"

Throughout the conversation, I feel my heart race quicken and a sinking feeling in my chest. I strangely hope she doesn't say yes.

"Okay. But no promises we will ever see each other again."

"Yes! Thank you! You're meeting him tomorrow at two at the hiking path near Golden Lake! Tell me how it goes! Oh, and this hike has some more climbing activities, so make sure to wear the right clothes. Wear hiking boots!"

"Ugh, I'm only doing this for you, Aria. If he's horrible, you have to buy my groceries the next two weeks."

"Deal. Goodnight!"

With that, Abbie hangs up the phone and sighs. "I'm not lonely, though. You live with me, I can talk to you any time," she says to me. "I hate first dates. I don't know how I'm going to do this."

"If it goes bad, you can complain to me about it when you get home," I offer.

"Thanks. I really hope he's at least tolerable, I don't want to be stuck on a hike with a guy I hate."

"I'll be hoping for you as well. Your friend really asserts herself for your happiness, I mean with this whole thing."

"She always has. She doesn't want to see me without something that makes her happy, like a boyfriend or a certain hobby. I know she's just trying to do good for me, I'm not mad about it... I'm just socially awkward."

I laugh at the last line. "I understand."

She smiles. "I'm going to go to bed now, I guess. Goodnight." Abbie puts the sketchbook on the coffee table and tiredly makes her way to her room.

"Goodnight. "

***

2 am.

I'm still thinking about this Markus guy. I desperately hope that he doesn't hit it off with Abbie, but if he does... I'd rather Abbie be happy with him then not.

I wish I was human. I could be there more for Abbie... And... Nevermind.

Ever since midnight a strange feeling has developed in me. It's barely describable and a mix between someone or something other than Abbie being in this house and just... Something being different. I've inspected all of the house to look for whatever is causing this feeling and nothing has turned up. Everything is fine and exactly the same, but yet I can't shake the feeling that something is different.

I find myself sitting at the piano, trying to get my mind off of it. I gently brush my hands against the keys, then just laying my head down on them. Ugh.

"Matthew."

My head flings to that voice behind me, the voice I recognize so easily but can't put my name on. I see my mom, standing there, a pained expression on her face. "Mom..?"

What?!

I blink and she's gone. Am I hallucinating? Insane? How-!?

"Matthew, listen to me," I turn my head to the left of the piano where she once again stands.

"Mom-"

"No, listen because I don't have-" she stops, tears brimming her eyes. "I'm sorry. I need to build up strength, I spoke too soon."

"What? No-! Don't go!" I exclaim, standing up to run to her.

"Look for me soon."

I run to tackle her, to grab her, to hold her, to do something to make her stay, but as soon as she finishes talking she's gone.

What does this all mean?