A Mother's Bond

48

"Solo," Mama cut in. "He's threatening to take you to court for full custody. Permanently."

I blinked in shock. Beyoncé looked over at me, her eyes wide. She pursed her lips. "Well, looks like someone isn't so perfect after all."

Jay, surprisingly, frowned at her. "Don't."

I didn't even have the energy to snap back at Bey. Daniel was going to try to take Julez from me? Now? We had never fought over Julez. Daniel knew how close I was to my son, and he was always willing to take the backseat. Don't get it twisted though. Daniel was a great father. He helped out whenever he could, visited as much as possible, and every year he would take Julez on special father-son trips, but the rest of the year was mine. I decided what happened in Julez's day-to-day life. I set boundaries. I drove him to and from school. I raised him. Daniel may have been Julez's father, but Julez was my son.

"He," I began, choking on my words. "He wants to take my son?"

Mama squeezed my hand. "He thinks Julez hasn't your main priority, and he's not wrong. I'm not saying it's fair, but you've had to focus on taking care of Bey for a solid month." She paused, considering her next words. "He could take you to court for this, and...he might win. Especially if you try to take responsibility for Sarayah."

I rested my head in my hands. I couldn't believe Daniel would do this to me. He was going to make me choose, and really, there was only one choice. Mama rubbed my back.

"Sarayah will be fine here. I promise."

I stood up abruptly. "I–I can't be here right now."

I grabbed my jacket and my keys, hurrying out to my car. I drove around for a while, trying to think of a way out of this. There wasn't one. I made a few stops picking up a couple things before heading back to Bey's house. When I got back, Mama tried to talk to me, but I wasn't in the mood. I went to Beyoncé's room and grabbed the box she kept in her nightstand. I shoved it into the gift bag I'd gotten and walked to Sarayah's room. I knocked lightly. I opened the door and poked my head in. Sarayah was lying on her bed, staring up at the ceiling, an ice pack resting on her face. She looked over at me and sighed, looking back up at the ceiling.

"Hey, pipsqueak." I smiled, shutting the door behind me.

"Hey," she said, her voice soft.

"I wanted to come up earlier, but I thought you might want space," I explained, walking over to lie beside her on the bed.

"Yeah, I did. Thanks," she said, moving over to make space for me.

I stayed silent for a few minutes, staring up at the ceiling. I could feel her pain radiating off her. All I wanted was to make her feel better. But I didn't know how.

"You know, besides Julez, I think you might be my favorite person," I admitted.

Sarayah let out a disbelieving breath. "No offense to Julez, but you have low standards."

I looked over at her. She was still looking up at the ceiling, but I could see tears gathering in her eye. I stroked her cheek lightly.

"The opposite actually." I corrected. "You're an amazing person, and I feel so lucky to be a part of your life. Like Julez, you were a completely unexpected surprise. A gift I could never have even fathomed to ask for."

Sarayah turned her head to look at me, her right eye glistening. "I really want to believe you." She looked back up at the ceiling. "But I can't stop thinking that...that maybe...maybe I deserved–"

"STOP." I snapped, my breathing picking up. I turned on my side to face her, but she refused to look at me, focusing on the ceiling.

"You didn't deserve anything that happened to you. NO ONE deserves that. No one. You deserve happiness. You deserve peace. Don't you–" My voice gave out. "Don't you ever think you deserved this. Because you couldn't be further from the truth."