breathe// 5SOS

92

I rinsed it one last time and took the mouth prop out, sitting the chair up. She stood and hugged me, taking slow breaths while I rubbed her back.

"We'd better go and get Ava,"

"I can close up," Cal offered, "Soph doesn't finish yet,"

"Thankyou," I said, "I'll try my best to make more time for my phone, which sounds weird I guess,"

"I'll call you, I know you're busy,"

I swung my arm round Lauren's shoulder and took her to the staff carpark, my car parked with Luke's. We got in and headed further into town to get Ava.

"What exactly is this family talk you need?"

"Marcus and Viola have been talking a lot- which isn't a problem because Ava always comes to me for problems- but I only see Viola in the night, and Ava tries so hard to speak to Marcus and he blocks her out,"

"Oh. Maybe your should just let nature run its course, because if Marcus feels that upset, he will only stress more knowing he's hurting Ava,"

"I will talk to Viola first,"

We got to the office and I headed inside, smiling as Ava stood up and came over. She hugged me, tightly.

"Hey you,"

"I'm sad,"

"Ashton, can we have a word?"

Lucy came out and stood infront of us, Ava sniffling into my side.

"This a decision I have made myself, and not taken lightly at all, but I want to try and reduce her sessions to once a week again,"

"Say no,"

"Ava should be really proud of herself. I'm sure you can see how differently she speaks compared to just months ago, and the things we talk about in our sessions are starting to be full of happiness instead. I definitely want to continue seeing her, but she should feel really proud,"

"But I am not ready,"

"Sweetheart, I have seen you every week for a long time. It is so scary going out there without this one little rock, but you'll still see me on a Friday,"

"School help too," I soothed, "and you can always talk to me,"

"Not to Marcus though," she sniffed.

"I will talk to mum about all that later. It's really scary, but you can also be really brave,"

"I want you to spend the free time with your friends, or learning something new, or just relaxing. I want you to put yourself out there like you've not before because that's when all the hard work pays off. I know you can do this, but I also know you can use the new time to grow,"

"How do I put myself out?"

"Well, being able to put your hand up in class, or inviting a friend round afterschool and being their host, or using what we know relaxes you. You've joined writing club, which I don't think you would've done a couple of months ago,"

"So it's time to use the skills on real life to have fun or do a good thing?"

"Exactly. Going out if your comfort zone makes your tummy feel tickly, and your hands all shaky, but then afterwards you feel amazing! Knock down the barriers for me Ava,"

She nodded and I thanked Lucy, taking Ava to the car and climbing in.

"Hey you,"

"Dad said the same thing," she laughed sadly, "dad, what if Marcus never wants to be close?"