breathe// 5SOS

77

Ava

"Marcus, look at my new shoes," I said proudly, putting them on his lap. He laid on his bed, looking through his phone.

"They're nice,"

"People wont make fun of me, will they?"

"Of course not," he frowned, shuffling up to make space, "and you tell me if anyone does,"

"No, I have to tell Mr Carter,"

I laid next to him and rested on his chest, feeling his heart beat. I wondered what had kept his going all these years.

"Can we walk the dogs tomorrow?"

"Maybe, but we don't know the area,"

"Oh, yeah. That was stupid,"

"Do you often think you're stupid? Even though your dad and school don't mind helping?"

I nodded. I trusted him with the truth. The thing was, I wasn't very good at accepting not being able to do something, but it happened a lot. Therefore, everyday I beat myself up.

"We all make mistakes. I put the meat on the wrong time so dad had to fix it, and you didn't notice,"

"But I don't notice a lot of things,"

"Stop making excuses,"

"Are you excited to start school? Because I am not,"

"I am nervous to have to make friends,"

"Will you get a girlfriend?"

"I don't plan that really, it just happens,"

I nuzzled into his chest more, closing my eyes when he wrapped his arms around me.

"I wish we could've grown up together. We could've had cuddles as toddlers, and dressed up and played together. Is that what children do?" I asked.

"Did... did you ever have a loving family?"

"Yeah,"

"Good," he smiled.

"Dad,"

It dropped.

"Is he not loving to you?" I worried- dad was good.

"No, no, he is. I just get really upset by the fact that you never got to be a child,"

"I still am one. I want to go ice skating in winter, and have a birthday party, and I love to read,"

"I'm so happy I found you," he whispered, "I am so, so happy that you are my sister, and that I can be a role model to you,"

"It is weird for me to have another person in the house because dad always used to have his attention on me, but I don't mind as much as I thought. Now, I have you, and when I see him giving you love it makes me happy,"

"Ava, it's time for bed!"

"No,"

"Yes, come on," dad said, appearing at the doorway, "I need to clean your ears. You have all day to see Marcus tomorrow,"

"No," I whined, seeing him raise his eyebrows.

"Ava, you know I have had a long day, please don't test my patience,"

"But I want to see Marcus,"

"Tomorrow we will go to my hangout and watch a film," Marcus said, kissing my head, "go on, I am tired,"

Dad opened his arms for me and I went to him, squeezing him tightly. He took me to the bathroom and got a cotton ball, dipping it in the cleaning solution to clean my ears.