breathe// 5SOS

79

"My ears got infected,"

"Oh sweetheart," I frowned, "I am sorry, I really am,"

"Michael said he would buy me a ring,"

"Well that was nice of him,"

"Mum isn't sick either,"

"Alright, why don't you and Marcus go with Luke, and spend some time at his place with Petunia. I want to take a walk round with mum,"

"Dad," Marcus said quietly, "I-I,"

"I don't bite," Luke said softly, "I know new people can be scary, but if we never met then we would be new forever,"

Ava was already by his side, whereas Marcus came to me and wanted a hug.

"I will pick you up and take you shopping after, okay? That is still on no matter what the case is,"

"Thankyou, dad,"

I kissed his head, holding him until he let go. It was important that I did that.

"Go on, Luke will make you lunch,"

"Come," Ava said, holding her hand out, "Luke is great,"

I squeezed his shoulder and he followed them out, Cal patting my back. I went over to Viola , who burst into tears the moment I wrapped my arms around her.

"What's been going on? I don't like having tension between us,"

"I've looked for places to stay,"

"That won't be needed. What's been going on lately?"

"You don't know Ash,"

"I know that I bloody love you with every bone in my body,"

I wiped her tears and kissed her, gently brushing my fingers through her hair.

"I am so scared,"

"We can be mature,"

"I am twenty six, Ash, and I feel like my life is going to halt. I have worked so hard for everything and it's just gonna be for nothing,"

"Why would it be for nothing? Why is it halting?"

"I have actually been sick, well feeling sick, but not because I am sick,"

"Okay...,"

She squeezed her eyes shut and tugged at her hair with a shaking hand, starting to sob again.

"Viola ," I whispered.

"I'm pregnant,"

Fuck.

"How long?"

"Almost 2 months,"

"Why would you need a place to stay?"

"You might not want me anymore,"

"Viola, perhaps it is a little earlier than anticipated, but it's not like we never wanted a little baby. I support you in any decision you make, because your mental health is so important to me,"

"I don't know if I am ready,"

"It is your body,"

"I think I want to keep the baby, but it isn't final- I'm sorry,"

"That's okay,"

Gently, I rubbed her tummy; knowing my kid was in there was so special.

"For now, lets go out and get some foods you can have, and some bits to make you comfy,"

"There's things I can't eat,"

"I know,"

"I am so exhausted,"

"Lets get you a pregnancy pillow, and some ear plugs,"

"We can't tell the kids yet,"

"I think we should go and see your dad, and tell him, and see what he says. Just tell me Viola, why does this halt everything forever?"

"I have to stay home and look after the baby,"

"Who says you have to be a stay at home mum? You work until you leave, and come back once it is over. We have so much support that would help us"

"How will Ava react? If it's a girl she will be crushed, and think you've replaced her,"

"But we haven't, and she will have to realise that. Think about you. Of course I would love this child, but I also love you, and if you can't do this then I am putting no pressure on you,"

I helped her stand and led her to her dad's room, where he laid every day. Luke and Michael did like to take him on small walks, but at the end of the day, he wasn't getting better.

"Viola," he said, giving us the best smile he could, "My beautiful baby girl,"

"Dad," she chuckled, holding his hand as she sat by his bed, "I love you,"

"I love you too princess. What's bothering you ay?"

"I have some news, and I need help on what to do,"

"Of course,"

"I... I am pregnant, and I don't know if I am ready,"

"Why?"

"I don't know,"

"You didn't think you were ready to be a dentist, you didn't think you were ready to look after a dog, you didn't even think you were worth enough for Ash. You really doubt yourself, and if it is about parenting then you shouldn't worry. You are compassionate and so loving,"

"But work will stop for months,"

"And you can treasure those months with the child,"

"Would you be mad if I didn't have them?"

"Of course not, but I need you to make the right decision, and I think you will love having a little baby,"

"It's crazy,"

"I remember you as a little kid. You had this baby toy, but you looked after and protected them with all your heart. You fed them, changed their nappies, took them on walks, sat them at our table to eat- I do not doubt your capability at all,"

"And it will not stop you working until it absolutely has to. My mum will always look after them, and Joy will, and the kids. We can even bring them into work and they get looked after," I said.

"I want to keep them," she breathed out, her dad beckoning her for a kiss on the cheek.

"I know how strong you are princess,"