"Today we'll go through the test you guys did a while ago." Mr Nealis strolls into Ava's calculus class, wearing his laid-back grin as always.
The class bursts into murmurs. Ava clenches the brim of her shirt as she shuts her eyes, her mind occupied by millions of separate voices. Her breath rapid and short.
Like a normal student, she worries about messing up her test. But it's the tension that attacks her.
Her mind starting to tangle, bit by bit. Breathe, one, two, three. Don't come out.
What if I fail? Then my grades will be dragged down. My GPA will be messed up. I won't get into a good college...
It's all a spiral, and she's tired of constantly having to battle with herself. God damn it, every time.
"Ava?"
Did I just mess up again? She feels tears welling up in her eyes. She hates it when she can't control her mind — and no one seems to understand.
"Are you okay?" Jesse sits straight up, eyes on Ava.
Ava's eyes are still closed. She lifts her left hand and quiets him.
A minute passes as Ava inhales and exhales deeply, opening her eyes. "Sorry," she mumbles.
"Oh, no it's fine." Jesse peeks at Ava, frowning, a bit worried about her. "Are you worrying about Math?"
I wish it's only because of Math.
"It's okay. you don't have to worry too much. I'm pretty sure everyone did pretty bad in this one."
Well, that doesn't really help a lot. But it manages to bring a small smile to Ava's face.
"See." Jesse grins as if he's achieved something big. "Feeling better?"
She gives him a shallow nod, knowing that Jesse is trying his best to help her. But she still can't stop herself from filling her head with irrational thoughts.
"Hey Jesse, you're such a Math genius!" A piercing voice coos.
Ava turns and looks up. There she is. Meara fucking Johansson, standing right opposite to Jesse, leaning over the table.
"Uh, thanks Meara," Jesse says with a strange cough.
"I'm sure you'll do so good in this test. Urgh, our GPA is going to look so bad compared to yours." Meara peeks at Ava, with a hint of smug satisfaction.
Meara knows Ava has anxiety, she knows that little things can trigger her, but Ava looks down and pretends that she can't hear anything.
"Er, I guess," Jesse says while looking for his pen.
"I'm not really sure if I need a tutor or what." Meara sighs and flips her hair, then curl it with her finger.
"You're gonna be fine. Hey," Jesse nudges Ava, "you going to the research club thing today?"
Meara frowns and glares at Ava.
"Uh yeah, yeah I'm going." Ava shifts in her seat and touches her strands of hair. She puts her hand back down immediately after that.
"Cool, we can go home together this time, right?" Jesse props elbow up on the table and rests his chin on his hands.
Ava glances at the oblivious Meara and looks away hesitantly. "Can we talk about this later-" Ava lowers her voice.
YOU ARE READING
Paralyzed Love ✓
Teen Fiction[The Fiction Awards 2020 Winner in Diverse Fiction!] Jesse is paralyzed from his waist down, but he makes sure he gets what he wants, for he has already lost too many things in his life. Yet when he finally gets to meet Ava, who has anxiety and depr...
