"Morning best friend," Jesse says as he wheels to Ava's right hand side.
Ava does not have to look. She is picking books from the tall, slender blue locker. "Morning," she replies without turning around.
Ava takes the file out from her locker and turns to Jesse. "Best friend. Really?"
"Why not? You'd love to be my best friend, wouldn't you?" Jesse smiles.
Ava looks at him and stays silent. Does she actually want to? She shoves the idea away and turns back to her locker.
The locker hallway is packed, rows of sapphire blue lockers stand along the two sides of the wall. You never know what's inside them, some include the cliche to-do list and Polaroids stuck onto the inner side of the locker doors, some have fluffy locker mats with fancy binders, some even have bins full of waste paper. Ava's is simple. Just books, blue and yellow and green folders.
"Woah, careful," says Jesse as someone nearly trips over his wheelchair.
Ava turns and looks around. Squads of people form circles in front of two to three lockers, whereas some run all across the hallway as if they're still in elementary school. Gossiping, shouting, singing, laughs all mingle together.
"You guys really have to suffer every morning. I have my own space." Jesse grins.
Ava starts tidying up the collapsed piles of files in the locker. She asks in confusion, "You have your own space for lockers?"
"Yeah. This chair takes up quite a lot of space. Wanna have a tour?" Jesse leans forward, hands grabbing the wheels on both sides of him.
"Okay." Ava shrugs and shuts the locker door. She swings her backpack on one shoulder and looks at Jesse.
"Alright. Follow me." Jesse turns around and wheels himself. Ava tries to walk beside him but the crowded hallway stops her from manoeuvring through. She frowns and follows him at the back.
Ava studies Jesse. His hands are grabbing the wheels tightly and pushing them forward. Won't they sore? He has to use his arms 24/7 to push his weight. The back of his head is tidily combed, despite the messiness of his hair at the front. His arms are slender and... pretty. His whole body is symmetrical and his torso is in the perfect length. Ava wonders how tall he really is.
"Here we are, my secret garden." Jesse points at the lonely blue locker. Ava and Jesse are in a concavity of the wall, it can fit at least five lockers here, with gaps between. Ava murmurs to herself that the school should provide one locker for her here too.
"It's really good here," says Ava as she sweeps over the place.
Jesse raises his eyebrows. He wheels himself and stops in front of the locker, turning to Ava. "Really? It's a bit lonely."
Ava stares at the locker and purses her lips. "No. It's perfect. No one is here. It's just you... and yourself." Ava lowers her voice.
Some say that loneliness is their biggest fear and everyone seems to like being accompanied by someone. But Ava doubts that. She prefers being alone. It's not that she likes being alone, but she has no choice. She does not want to be hurt again.
Jesse tilts his head and starts, "Why? Being alone is not fun."
Ava turns her head to Jesse abruptly. Suddenly her head is throbbing, perhaps she is startled that Jesse seems to read her mind. She blinks and starts again, "You won't understand, science nerd."
"Of course." Jesse winks.
Ava blinks nonchalantly. She does not know how to respond.
Meanwhile, Jesse takes out a pack of Chips Ahoy out of his backpack and hands it to Ava. "I know you like this."
It's Ava's favourite snack. Her jaw drops. "How on earth-"
"You have it in your bag all the time, and I saw you eating one in the research club classroom," Jesse says as he puts his hand behind his neck.
"Oh my God." Ava is still staring at the pack of cookie in Jesse's hands.
Jesse beams and looks up to Ava, inspecting her expression. "Yea, I'm really observant."
Ava stares at him and chuckles a bit. "You're such a weirdo."
Jesse laughs as well. "I just hope you're doing fine, maybe this treat can hype you up a little bit." He stops and breathes in, eyes wandering around. "Yeah, you know, yesterday-"
Ava frowns and does not speak. She looks at Jesse. Jesse realizes that Ava is looking at his direction and looks at her, tilting his head slightly.
Ava stares into Jesse's eyes. His hazel eyes are like magnets that you can't stop staring at them.
They are mesmerizing.
Ava's sight becomes obscured and tears form in the brim of her eyes. The forming tears startle Ava. She cries a lot, but the cries are always in agony. But this time, it's Jesse who brings a stream of warmth to Ava.
But she needs to admit that she lacks the sense of belonging for too long. Ava blinks away the tears and gets the pack of Chips Ahoy. "Thank you, and I'm okay, I'm standing here right in front of you." She gestures her arms in the air from her shoulders to her hips and breaks out smiling.
Jesse grins and doesn't talk. He starts after taking in a breath, "Yeah, you're right. Anyway, it's world history class, let's go."
Ava is holding the pack of Chips Ahoy tightly, almost crushing the cookie into small pieces. It's funny how sometimes a person just appears out of nowhere and walks into your life.
—
"AVVVAAA!" The high-pitched voice belongs to Melanie, and that's the first thing Ava hears right after she steps into the lunchroom. The cafeteria is frenzied enough to draw people's attention away from the over-enthusiastic 'AVVVAAA'. It clearly is Ava's nightmare to become the center of anything.
Ava walks to the table and places her tray on it. Just as she sits down, she sees Meara and Olivia, sitting in the table right next to theirs. And Karen. And Natalie. And oh my God, fucking Tristen.
"Hey, nerd." Jesse's voice draws Ava's attention away.
"Why do you always come up with a nickname for me? What am I next time, Psychologist?" Ava looks at Jesse and says.
"Great one!" Jesse grins.
Ava is still glancing at Meara's squad. Of course they know she's here, of course they are watching her, of course they have ruined her.
The people on their table burst into chorus of laughter, perhaps because one of them has told a lame joke that Ava won't understand. How can they be so confident? It's like the whole school is dominated by them that they can laugh their butts off without worrying about being judged, because they are the one who judge others.
And then Ava meets Meara's gaze. Meara is holding her stomach while bursting out her aggressive laughter, and she seems to stop when she sees Ava. There is disbelief in her eyes, but she continues to laugh despite her voice decreasing.
Ava snaps her gaze away immediately. She is not going to give up this time.
YOU ARE READING
Paralyzed Love ✓
Teen Fiction[The Fiction Awards 2020 Winner in Diverse Fiction!] Jesse is paralyzed from his waist down, but he makes sure he gets what he wants, for he has already lost too many things in his life. Yet when he finally gets to meet Ava, who has anxiety and depr...
