Ava stands still behind the door. She breathes in and out. In and out. With each breath it gets shakier. Tears burst forth, spilling down Ava's face. She sobs and wipes her tears over and over again, but they won't stop bursting out.
She walks in circles as if something grasps and yanks her around. She can barely move. She can barely stop. Her movement is jerky, mind in shambles. She grips her hair and sobs and cries and yells. She can never stop it, it always controls and haunts her.
She drops onto the floor and wrests out the white bottle from her bag. She twists the white cap and pours the light blue pills out. Hands trembling, she pours out a mountain of pills which she has to put them back one by one except for the last one. She swallows the pill aggressively.
Her gaze meets the ugly, plain white plastic container. Yelling, she throws the container to the wall and it lands onto the shiny concrete floor. A loud thud reverberates in the bathroom.
She buries her head into her legs, leaning against the wall next to the door. She sobs, and eventually she feels like something has sunk to the bottom of her body. She feels like floating in the air and a bit dizzy.
Side effect of the drugs.
She has no idea how long has passed, and she gets up, combing her messy hair. Her eyes are red and puffy. Her cheeks look sunken, but she doesn't bother to care. She walks out into the hallway and no one is there.
She guesses that she's either late for class or super late for class. She goes to the school office and finds the consultant. She never talks to her, but she's going to be big in trouble if she's late for French class.
"I just had a panic attack and I'm going to be late." Ava is too exhausted to say anything fancy. She is just going to spill the truth.
While they are talking, the bell rings and it is the end of school.
Ok, I skipped class. Perfect.
The consultant ends up walking her to the French classroom after everyone leaves. She tells Mr. Bisset about Ava's situation. Although he doesn't seem to be convinced about the reason for Ava skipping a class, he hands her today's work and explains the outline of the class.
Ava knows that Mr. Bisset doesn't like her because she never answers any questions, she never talks. She's an introvert in everyone's eyes. Well, maybe not everyone. She knows that Mr. Bisset is looking at her as if she's a creep the whole time when the consultant is talking, but once again, she's worn out and does not want to think about it. She's different anyway.
As she steps out of the classroom, she feels like she is going to collapse anytime. All she has to do is to walk for fifteen minutes and she can lay on her bed and sleep.
After she arrives home, she drops her bag onto the floor, a thud resounds from the impact with the floor. She throws herself in bed, and right before she falls asleep, her phone rings as a notification comes up.
'Snapchat: from Jesse Sanders'
Ava groans and gets her phone out of her jeans pocket. Her eyes widen as she sees the notification.
Jesse Sanders.
Paralyzed for life. Broke his spine. Hospital.
But these thoughts do not haunt Ava as much, surprisingly. She frowns instead. Her heart aches just a little bit and she shakes her head vigorously. She reminds herself that she cannot care about anyone when she cannot even care about herself.
Ava opens the text.
Jesse Sanders
Where were you in French class today?
Ava Morales
Why do you even have my snap???
Jesse Sanders
I added you on the first day of school.
Ava Morales
What
Ava has no idea she accepted his request. She's not a fan of using social media, she downloaded Snapchat back in middle school when she was still slightly more sociable. She just accepts everyone and ghosts them.
Jesse Sanders
Haha. Gotcha. Where were you?
Ava Morales
Bathroom.
Jesse Sanders
You okay??
Ava Morales
Yes. And I'm going to bed now. Gn.
Jesse Sanders
Pfff. We have vocabulary hw for French. You sure you're ok? Melanie told me that you suddenly walked away and you didn't look good.
For goodness sake, Melanie.
Ava Morales
Yes I know. Mr Bisset told me.
Ava thinks for a while and typed another message.
And yes I'm ok. I really have to sleep, so stop texting me before I block you.
Jesse Sanders
Ok. Lol. Nice dream.
Ava puts down her phone and falls asleep quickly. It's ten at night when she wakes up, she checks her phone and there is no notification. It haunts her that she feels slightly disappointed, but she sweeps away the feeling right away.
YOU ARE READING
Paralyzed Love ✓
Teen Fiction[The Fiction Awards 2020 Winner in Diverse Fiction!] Jesse is paralyzed from his waist down, but he makes sure he gets what he wants, for he has already lost too many things in his life. Yet when he finally gets to meet Ava, who has anxiety and depr...
