Bad Boy Benefits

(62)

Song Above: I Was Wrong

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IVY

It had been weeks since I'd spoken or even thrown a mere glance in Brody and Rose's direction. I trudged through the hallways as if I were an extra in the Walking Dead.

I felt lost.

This year had truly tested me in ways I'd never imagined possible. I was mentally and physically exhausted. I wanted to scream to whoever had dealt me these horrendous cards to give me a break.

But no one was listening, they never were.

I sat in the corner of the library, watching those around me, who seemed happy and blissfully unaware of the raining crowd of thunder that was myself in the corner.  I wondered how it had gotten to this?

Where did I go wrong?

As if by some sick joke, the answer to my question walked through the double doors. Messy brown hair, hooded eyes, and a slumped frame were all that consisted of Brody at this moment.

Whether he saw me or not, I wasn't too sure. Maybe he had but pretended like he hadn't or maybe I did truly no longer exist in his world.

As much as the latter crushed whatever pathetic excuse of a heart I had left, I knew it was for the best.

I made a promise and I needed to stick by it. I had to repeat this to myself every day in order for it to imprint my brain.

I tried to pay attention to my textbook but I couldn't help but watch as Brody walked over to the librarian. His voice was low as he spoke, low enough that I couldn't quite make out what he was saying. In response, she pointed towards a section in the library, the old school records section and I was curious as to what he was looking for.

Stop it.

You shouldn't be curious or even care what he does. It doesn't concern you anymore.

Why couldn't I just listen to myself?

I let out a low groan and ran my fingers through my hair. It was full of knots, I can't remember the last time I could be bothered to brush it. I glanced up at Brody one last time, soaking in his appearance before shaking my head and trying for the hundredth time to focus on the mumbled words in my textbook.

"Mind if I take a seat?"

I looked up from the table and attempted to hide the surprise that covered my face. I shifted uncomfortably in my seat and nodded towards Ryan, who awkwardly hovered at the end of my table. He slumped into the spare seat beside me, looked around the room and then placed his hands on the table staring at them deep in thought.

I watched him for a couple of seconds, I hadn't been this close to him in a very long time. His hair had gotten longer, it almost reached his eyes and he had the beginnings of a beard growing. It was almost as if his boyhood was gone and the guy sitting beside me was now a man.

"I'd spent a lot of time thinking about what I should say to you,"

Ryan's low and husky voice drew me out of my thoughts. I watched as his mouth continued to move with his eyes not daring to look at my face.