A Mother's Bond

41

"What happened, Blue? Who took you?" I asked, confused.

Solange and Kelly knelt beside me. I barely paid them any mind. My eyes were locked on Blue. She fidgeted for a few moments.

"She told me not to tell. I don't wanna get her in trouble."

I supressed a groan of frustration. Blue was notorious for her busy mouth. Why was she choosing now to keep a secret?

I stroked her head soothingly. "It's okay, Blue. She's not gonna get in trouble. I just want to help."

"Promise?"

I nodded, having no intention of keeping that promise. My anger was already bubbling up at the thought of seeing that person. Whoever had taken my child would regret the day they'd been born.

Blue thought about it for a few seconds before meeting my eye. "It was 'Rayah."

It felt like I had been punched in the stomach. I doubled over, struggling to breathe. She was alive. I was right. But I was wrong. So. Wrong. My world was spinning out of control, and I had nothing to hold onto. Michelle grasped my shoulder.

"I'm gonna go call Jay."

I heard her leave the room. Solange and Kelly were trying to talk to me, but I wasn't listening. Sarayah was alive. She hadn't even been kidnapped. She'd left. On her own. She'd probably been laughing at me these past two months with that bitch she called her mama.

I shakily got to my feet. I grit my teeth. Enough weakness. No more falling apart. No more relying on other people. I was going to handle this myself. This was the last time I was ever going to be made a fool of. I picked up the bat, determination on my face. I looked down at Kelly and Solo.

"Stay here with Blue. I'll be right back."

Kelly held up her hand. "Wait Bey–"

I shook my head. "Please, just do what I say. PLEASE. I will be right back."

I ran out of the room and into the hall. I took the stairs two at a time, not caring if I fell. I flew through the back door. I whipped my head side to side, unsure of where to go next. There was a good chance she was long gone, but I had to know for sure. Then I saw her, a dark figure in the distance. She was slowly lifting herself onto the fence. I sprinted towards her. When I got within earshot, I slowed down to a jog.

"SARAYAH!" I yelled, anger coursing through my veins like fire.

She froze, one leg on either side of the fence. She looked at me, face hidden in shadows. She turned to the street as if contemplating making a run for it. I clenched my fists.

"So that's it? After all the shit you've pulled you just up and leave? No explanation, no fucking apology?" I screamed.

"I didn't let her get hurt," she spoke, her voice so hoarse it was almost unrecognizable. "I wouldn't let anyone touch her. I would die before I let that happen."

I chuckled angrily. "Oh, but you can kidnap her just fine, right?"

Sarayah's head dropped. "I'm sorry. That's all I can say. I'm sorry."

I laughed, angrily. "Daddy's girl through and through, huh? You're so much like him it makes me sick. You destroy everything around you and expect to fix it with a 'sorry'. I always end up getting fucked over, but it's okay because YOU'RE ALWAYS SORRY, RIGHT?"

I waited for her to say something, but she just sat there, silently staring down at the fence. I laughed again, getting more enraged by the second.

"You know what's crazy? I always thought it was our relationship that was broken, but it's you. It's always been you. You are broken. Do you see that? Can you see that? Look at yourself. You kidnapped your own sister! You are so fucked up, you can't be fixed."

She stayed silent. My rage peaked.

"SAY SOMETHING, YOU FUCKING COWARD!" I screamed, throwing the metal bat at her. It clattered against the fence, missing her by a few feet.

"BEYONCÉ! STOP!" A voice shouted behind me.

I glanced over my shoulder and saw Solange running over to me. When I turned back around, Sarayah was gone. A pain shot through my chest. She left. Again.

"DON'T COME BACK!" I shouted after her, clenching my fists so tightly my nails were biting into my skin. "DO YOU FUCKING HEAR ME? DON'T YOU EVER FUCKING COME BACK HERE, SARAYAH!"

Solange looped her arm around my chest and dragged me backwards to the house, making soothing sounds while I kicked and punched at the air, sobbing uncontrollably. When we got to the porch she stopped, pulling me into her.

"She's gone," I whispered so softly, I was sure she hadn't heard.

"We'll get her back, don't worry." Solo assured me, misinterpreting my statement.

I shook my head. "No." I wiped my face and stood up. "No, she made her choice."

Solo looked up at me, confusion in her eyes. "You can't be serious. Sarayah's been gone for months; we thought she was dead. You've been killing yourself every day, missing her."

"Exactly." I walked into the house, not waiting for her to follow.

"Well, I'm going after her!" Solange yelled.

I shrugged, not looking back. She could do whatever the fuck she wanted. I didn't care. I was done caring about that child.

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WOW. Things are really not going well for anyone. Why do you guys even read this? It is so sad. I mean, I appreciate you guys, obviously, but wow. Truly confused. Is this cathartic for you?

Anyway, hope you enjoyed regardless. Ok byeeeeeeeee ✌🏽