pistanthrophobia / l.h - book I

16

16.sleeping at last
this chapter is inspired by the band by sleeping at last!
i love you<3

ileana
i think what hurts the most is me wanting to tell luke what i feel and knowing how it feels but not knowing exactly how.
all my life i've had to keep secrets, everything always felt like life or death situations and i could never differentiate which situations the truth would bring me life or which ones would lead to death.

so i just shut everything out altogether.
i just need time to think.
but me being me i overthink everything and anything..
my thoughts are interrupted by a nurse knocking lightly and opening the door.

"hi there sweetie, how're you feelin?" she asks politely.

"i feel fine. thanks." i say back.

because i do feel fine.

"well dear, i'm just going to check some of your vitals and give you some water,your aunt will be here in a minute to see you." she says as she looks at the monitor for my heart rate.

my heart felt like it stopped.
my aunt?

suddenly i feel panicked and i can't find words,it feels like they don't exist.
how could my aunt have possibly found out? how could she even be sober enough to be on the way?

"woah there dear, is something wrong?" she asks nicely but her eyes alarmed.

"y-you said m-my aunt is c-coming?" i question

"yes dear, your aunt.." she stops her sentence to pick up her clip board and reads out the information, "rene williams?"

a pang of relief washes over me..
i completely forgot i even put sirena's mom down as an emergency contact.

"sorry there hun, didn't mean to get ya worked up." she says as she hands me a cup of water.

"yeah, no worries." i say nodding.

at the end of the day, how could poor nurse know who my aunt truly is?
not the person she was before the drugs and alcohol and whatnot.
but the person she is to me now.

it felt like nobody could know.

so why should i take it out on this nice nurse? i can't.

suddenly, my eyes feel droopy and i start to fade into a peaceful slumber.

sirena
i honestly have no idea what the fuck is going on right now!

all i know is that vincent put his hands on ileana,then luke stops him and fights vincent.

months have gone by and those are the only huge things i can think of at the moment.

now i'm hearing that ileana cut again and she's in the hospital?

WHAT?

how did things change so quickly?

i think to myself as my mom drives me to the hospital to visit ileana.

we get to the hospital and even though we're doing our best to stay calm, me and my mom are frantic.

the double doors of the hospital open automatically as we walk towards them and my mother and i practically run to the front desk.

"my daugh-i mean niece is in this hospital! her name is ileana lewis, i'm her aunt rene williams." my mother shakily yet urgently says to the lady at the desk who seems to not be paying attention.

i can see the irritation in my mothers eyes grow as the lady is scanning the computer but then, the receptionists eyes widen a little and she says,

"yes, you may see her, she's in room 7, on second floor." " take that elevator right there and it should be the first one you see." finishes the receptionist as she moves her beautiful long hair to one side and whose name tag now shows as diana.

"thank you."
my mom and i both say in unison as we walk swiftly towards the elevator.

once we get in, there's no words.
we just want to make sure our ileana is okay.

the elevator doors open and we walk out and search for room 7. didn't take long because as the nurse said, it was the first one we'd see.

my mom cuts in front of me and opens the door to reveal a sleeping ileana and a whole bunch of beeping machines.

my mother and i both sigh out of relief, it seems ileana never sleeps.

she always sleeps with me or the boys and she wakes up different, but when she goes home, and comes back, you can see in her eyes that she's fighting it or something..

if it were up to me, we'd just adopt her.

and it it were up to my mom, she'd have ileana call my mom her mom,but since we know her so well, we know the thought of that scares her shitless.

so instead, my mom takes the role of her aunt.
that way she always feels safe to rely on her.
which we want you know?

my mom and i both sit down on the chairs in the baby blue colored room and let out sighs at different times.

and before i know it, i'm drifting off to sleep.

~~~~
holaa, ik if you're reading you're probably like WTH
okay so,i've had so many chapters written, but i never revised them, and since i have a certain way i want the chapters to be written, the chapters are gonna come out all at once almost because i finally have some time to pay attention to them.
i know they're heavy stuff,put it down if you need to, its not gonna go anywhere:)
if you're reading, just know ily a lot & i appreciate the love<3
nyla<33