Forgive And Forget? *Sam Winchester x reader Love Story*

Locked down

Its been a couple of weeks since I realized I had a mom and these guys were my brothers. I never thought John would have so many children knowing one is in hell Adam and these two are here with me. Anyway... Its been pretty good I've catched up with my mom about everything. I really haven't talk to Sam in many weeks. He's been busy trying  avoid everything I guess. If he wanted that then I understand him completely. I will agree and go along with it. Really no matter what.

"OK thats it!!! I can't take it anymore ." dean said. "What?" I asked. "You two not speaking really? Your gonna be quiet around that's the most ridiculous thing I ever seen" he said "You really want to talk about ridiculousness?" I asked "you know what I mean" he said. "Nothing is wrong dean... Please stay out of this" Sam said. "No he's right its really dumb you guys keep doing this....you guys need to talk now! " mom said.

They both looked at each other. Then at the door. They ran and I ran after them. The door was locked.

"Come on!!!!!" I yelled "think about it and speak!! " she yelled.

"There's nothing wrong with us now open the freaking door!!! Were in the basement!" Sam yelled. "He's right please let us out!" I said. "Not happening we will be back tomorrow there's food so talk !" Dean yelled. "There's no use" I said. I sat down on the floor and I took out my phone it was 5:30pm. It was gonna be a long night. "I don't know why were here. Were fine we don't need to talk" I said. "Yeah cause we are so good not talking to each other" he said. "Exactly after all that's what you want " I said. "That's not what I want" he said. "Sam I can tell when someone wants something and right now its that. There's nothing to say and you know I'm right" I said. "Really? I see your doing good that's why you need to talk " he said.

"Really? I'm the good that's right here?!?!?! Yeah I'm fine that the fact the guy I went out with that was my first love turns out to be my brother and my long time friend along with his other 2 brothers and found out I actually have a mom? Yeah cause my life so good knowing that the person who was my first love is my brother!!! The only person who understood me through my whole fucking life!!! Its so good right now yeah!" I said.

He stood shock. He didn't know he was my first and I never told him. Why? Because I was afraid of saying the truth. That's why the first I ever had "it" was with him. But I never said it. Your first time first love you can't never forget.

"Seem shock now? Yeah its all true just never said it for a reason. Now if you excuse me I'm gonna try and call my mom " I said.

I got up and dialed my moms phone number she didn't pick up. Guess I was stuck with someone who didn't want me. And thought all this was so easy for me.

"I never thought I was your first" he said. "You never did i first saw you like any other guy. Like dean. I never thought of you as special. I was afraid of being close with someone again. But I gave it a try and I went all the way. If you still want to hate me then go ahead don't talk to me put I'm not repeating what I did again with you" I said. "I'm sorry...... All this has been hard for me ever since you left things have changed I went from relationship to relationship. I never got the same love I had for you in you with someone else. I pretended to be strong for dean for all the cases. I was wreck. Since you walked out if felt like years without you. I never thought I ever see you again. I was worried I kept having visions about you being hurt or kidnapped. I couldn't sleep. This whole thing has me all messed up. If I haven't talk to you its because I don't know how to act around you. I still love you a lot no matter what has happened. I just don't know what to do. " he said.

To be honest I loved him to. But me being wanted by the demons and Angels. The angels wanting me dead because I'm a sin and Crowley and Lucifer wanting me. This was all a risk and me being together with him was something I couldn't risk.

"I love you I never stopped. I couldn't get you out. But I can't risk it I can't risk being with you with what's happening I just don't want things to get more complicated then they already are. " I said. "I don't care please let me be by your side. It's all I ask. I don't care if you don't want me I just have to know your OK" he said.

I missed him and missed everything about him.

He leaned in and kissed me. I kissed back and with no regrets. I hugged him I misses everything about him. And I have to thank dean and my mom.

"I have to thank my mom and dean. " I said. "Agree even though it was stupid I'm glad he did" Sam said. 

I was happy but I couldn't stop thinking about the letter my dad left me and the other one that dean gave me. But really most of all I couldn't stop thinking about Adam. He was either too mad or didn't want to do nothing with me anymore because I betrayed him.

"Hey you alright?" Sam asked. "Yeah I'm fine" I asked. "You don't seem like it what's going on?" He asked. "I can't stop thinking about Adam." I said. "Oh. " he said. "I'm not thinking about him that way.. The way I think about you. Its just its been weeks already since I've left and he hasn't answered back. He's either too mad or busy or doesn't want anyhting to do with me anymore. I just need to know if he is OK. " I said. "I'm sure he's OK. I know he hasn't called or anyhting but maybe something will happen and you'll know how he is. " he said. "I hope so" I said.

I was very worried. I just hope everything is going to be OK. We fell asleep together in each others arms the rest of the night. I felt safe and better than ever before.