Don't Write Me Off (Christian Romance)

Chapter Twenty-One

"About three months ago."

"And you're just telling me now?"

"I was scared of losing you. The past three months of my life have been the most miserable months I've ever lived. I've been eaten up by guilt and regret."

"Was that why you cut yourself off from the rest of us."

"I couldn't look you in the eye without feeling like killing myself for betraying you. Believe me when I say I still love you." His eyes were teary. "I've never loved any woman the way I love you, Martha."

"Who is she?"

"A former waitress at Maddie's diner. I'd just met her the previous day."

"Jesus!" Martha turned faced him. "You slept with a girl you barely knew? Have you forgotten STIs exist?"

"I've undergone tests; I didn't contact any."

Martha was relieved. What if he contracted an STD? What would have become of them?

"I had a lot to drink that night. I wasn't thinking straight." Jack said.

"You got drunk?" Martha was dumbfounded.

"I was hurt that day. I wanted to forget everything. I thought one night of being drunk wouldn't hurt."

"You were hurt?" Martha didn't understand. "How?"

"Remember the day I couldn't make it to the meeting with Theresa's teacher and we got into a heated argument and you said something about you being surprised you hadn't seen lipstick stains on my shirt? That hurt like hell, Martha."

Martha remembered the night Jack spoke off. Jack had left home and not returned until the next day. Since then, he had been withdrawn. It was all beginning to make sense to her. It was all her fault. She covered her mouth with both hands.

"You don't know how much power you have over me, Martha. Just a word from you can crush my heart."

"It's my fault." Martha cried. "It's all my fault. I'm sorry."

"No. It's not your fault, I could have controlled myself. None of these would have happened.

"No, I could have tamed my tongue." She cried. "None of these would have happened."

"It's okay." Jack pulled her closer. "Don't beat yourself up about it."

They stayed that way for a long time, neither saying anything until Martha Spoke up.

"Did you use protection." Martha couldn't quantify the hurt she felt as she pictured another woman carrying Jack's baby.

"The thing is, the condom broke."

Martha's heart raced. She hoped the lady wasn't pregnant.

"Did she... Did she get pregnant?"

"Yes. I'm sorry, Martha."

Martha squeezed her eyes shut. Why did this have to happen to them? Jack had an unborn baby somewhere in this world and she'd have to live with that fact, all because of her inability to control her tongue. Will Jack keep the child or will he leave him with the mother?

"What are your plans concerning her and the child?"

"Well, the Woman hates me. I don't know where she is. She said I shouldn't try to contact her and that my secret is safe with her."

"She hates you?"

"Yes. And she had a good reason to."

"Why?"

Jack gave a laugh void of humor. "I'm a horrible person, Martha. I Lied to her that I wasn't married and I hid the fact that I was a pastor from her."

Martha tried to see things from the woman's point of view. The woman wasn't at fault. She didn't know Jack was a married man. There was no reason for Martha to hate her.

"As if what I did wasn't enough, when I found out about her pregnancy, I suggested abortion and when she refused, I offered her money to get out of the country and out of my life so that I won't have anything to do with her again. That's how horrible I am."

"Shh." Martha held his hands. "You may have been wrong, but you're not a horrible person. We've been together for six years; I think I know you like the back of my hands. You're a good person. You just made a mistake. Nobody is above mistakes. And the Bible says that even though the righteous fall seven times, they'll surely rise again."

Jack nodded. "Thank you, Martha."

"I heard about your retirement."

"Mom told you? I'm sorry, I should have told you but you weren't around and the meeting had already been scheduled for today."

"I understand. How did it go?"

"The G.O had an emergency trip, so the meeting was postponed until next week Monday."

"Don't worry. God knows what He's doing. And I'm with you in this, you don't have to walk through this alone. We're in this together."

Jack smiled. His eyes were puffy.

"Have you made things right with God?" That was the first and most important thing he needed to do.

"I have." Jack smiled and Martha saw the kind of Joy that only God could give in the midst of all their problems. Unspeakable joy.