A Mother's Bond

34

A laugh bubbled up, escaping my lips. "My self-destructive behavior. You really are something, Jay."

I stood up, chuckling to myself. "You act like I'm crazy or something. Like I don't have the right to be upset. News flash, Jay. Anyone in my position would be struggling! First the kidnapping and now–"

My voice broke off at the end. I turned away from him, trembling. I steeled myself. I could not accept this. I would not accept this. He folded into himself. I took a good look at him for the first time. He looked almost as bad as me. His red rimmed eyes were brimming with tears. I softened for a moment. I knew he was going through it. He'd believed it right away.

He walked over to me, placing his hands on my shoulders. "I'm sorry, Bey. I know this is hard for you. Acceptance is the last step. Loss is like a–"

I shoved him away from me, sympathy completely gone. "Don't you patronize me like you know everything. YOU DON'T KNOW SHIT. I have lost so much. I lost both my husband and my daughter in a matter of hours. You can't understand that. No one can, yet you all have something to say about it, some advice to give. Well here's some for you: I DON'T WANT YOUR MOTHERFUCKING ADVICE."

He backed up. "I don't know what you want from me. I'm trying to support you, but you won't let me. Everything I do is wrong. She was my daughter too."

I felt myself shaking. "Is. She IS your daughter too."

I walked into the warehouse, clutching Jay's hand. I squeezed it, hoping for reassurance, but it felt limp in my hands. I looked up at him. His face was deathly pale. He already believed it. I faced forward and kept walking.

Everywhere I looked there were officers. A few of them looked at me sympathetically as they passed me. I ignored them, walking towards the group surrounding a body covered in a white sheet. Before I could get any closer, a police officer stopped me.

He looked at Jay and I. "Mr. and Mrs. Carter. My name is Detective Normand, and I'm heading up this case. May I ask what you're doing here? This is an active investiga–"

Jay's upper lip twitched. He raised his arm slowly, pointing at the body across the room.

"Is that–is that our girl?"

Detective Normand took a breath, awkwardly glancing down at his notepad. "We're still waiting on news from forensics. I don't know how you found out about this. It violates protocol."

Jay clenched his jaw. "You think it's her, don't you? I can see it in your eyes."

Detective Normand looked up at us, pity clear on his face. "I can't confirm anything at this point in time."

Jay turned around, putting his face in his hands. "My baby girl. She killed my baby girl." His shoulders shook as he sobbed. I watched him, numb. This couldn't be true.

I wandered off, getting closer to the crime scene.

"Ma'am. I don't think you should look over there," Detective Normand warned.

I took a step, and he moved as if to grab me. I held up a finger, clenching my jaw. "Touch me, and I swear I will make you regret it."

The detective shuffled awkwardly, retreating his hand. I walked around him, my eyes on the body. I had to see. I had to know. The body was in a caged room. The police had taped off the area in front of it to keep any unauthorized people from tampering with the evidence, but I could still see into the room, and what I saw made me sick. There were various tools scattered on a metal table. All of them coated in a thick layer of dried blood.

I shivered at the memory. Jay stared at me in silence, bottom lip trembling. "They found her body, Bey."

I shook my head vehemently. "They found a body. A body so burned it couldn't be identified. There was nothing there to indicate it was Sarayah's. It's sad because that girl was somebody's daughter, but she wasn't ours!"

Jay's eyes watered. "They found–" He broke off. "They found her blood, our baby's blood, at the scene."

Tears streamed down his face. "There was so much of it–"

I ignored him. "Where were her teeth? Why would she rip out her teeth? What reason could she possibly have for doing that?"

"I DON'T KNOW!" Jay exploded, throwing his hands in the air. "And I don't want to know. I don't want to think about some sick fuck torturing our daughter."

I shook my head vehemently. "That wasn't her."

"She's dead, Bey. Our baby. My baby."

I shook my head. "She's not. I would know. I would know if my daughter had left this earth. I carried her in my womb for eight and a half months. I would know if she was gone."

Jay walked over to me, wrapping his arms around me. He squeezed me tightly, shaking with barely contained sobs. I kept shaking my head. I couldn't give in. I had to be strong.

"I would know. I would know, Jay. I would know." I repeated vehemently, but my tears betrayed me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Okay. So I'm tragically back. Um. I would say that this chapter is a slight flashforward. In the following updates you'll kinda see how it got to that point. Again. This is probably really confusing, sorry about that. So ask questions if you need to. Again. I'm so sorry. Okay byeeee ✌🏽