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In the time since we had got home from the hospital five months ago to now, Chris had become a natural at parenthood. I don't think I have ever seen someone adapt to fatherhood so quickly and so easily as Chris did. He was so in awe of our babies and it warmed my heart.
He loved them so much and every second that he wasn't with them was a time where he couldn't think straight. He fell asleep with them and woke up with them. He would constantly wake up in the middle of the night when they were crying so that I could rest. He knew how tired I was and how painful breastfeeding has been for me, and even though I would try and wake up instead of him he'd just push me back down, kiss my forehead, and leave our room to check on the babies.
He was tired, it was clear to see, but for him, he didn't care, because he loved Clara and Luca with all his heart and they were his main priority in life besides me. And even though we had twins, Chris still found time for me, for just the two of us.
Being able to go through this new chapter in our lives together was one of the best gifts of all. We were truly blessed for the life that we were given, and truth be told we wouldn't change it. We'd still go through all the things we went through, because in the end it lead us to each other, in some crazy, unimaginable, and unexpected way.
To think that three years ago I was sitting behind a desk, doing a job that didn't satisfy me. To think that three years ago I was working for a snobby and stuck up boss who never cared about how hard I worked. And to think that three years ago, I met my husband in a men's clothing store. It wasn't the most ideal way to meet the love of your life, but in my eyes, it was perfect.
Had I known that my life would've turned out to be this way I would've told my younger self that everything would be okay. That I'd find someone who loved me for me. That I'd have the kids I always dreamt of having. That I'd be fulfilling my life long dream as an actress. If I could talk to my younger self I'd tell her that she was worth it and that her worries would pass and her heart would heal.
I look beside me and I see my wonderful husband and best friend. I see my two beautiful babies who stare at their father in awe. I see the life that I had always dreamt of having but never believed I'd ever have. I see all the things we went through together to get to this point.
I am forever grateful for the life that I have been given. I lost family and I gained family. The hole that once took over my heart was now full and overflowing its capacity. My heart was full of love and happiness, because for once in my life I am able to say that I am the happiest I've ever been.
If only my father could see how far I've come and how much I've grown. He would've been so proud, at least I'd like to think he'd be. It's thanks to him that I am where I am today. He always believed in me, even when I didn't believe in myself. He pushed me, he encouraged me, he was my biggest fan. If he would've never pushed me to my limit, I would've never been able to step outside my comfort zone. My father was my hero.
I have such an amazing family, and though it took many years to find all of them, I wouldn't have it any other way. They complete me, they make me happy and most of all they make me feel whole again.
"Mama", Clara mumbles. Luca giggles at her as he tries to copy her, "Mama". They both break out into tiny fits of giggles. My babies were five months old today. "Chris! Come quick! Clara and Luca said 'Mama'"
"Really?! Can you say dada? Say dada", Chris coos as he plays with their hands. They stare at him intently before laughing, "Mama"
"No, say dada"
"Mama"
"I think we know who their favorite is", I joke as Chris glares at me. Clara laughs at her father as I pick up Luca and hold him close to me, "Our perfect little family", I whisper. This right here, was all I could've ever wanted and more. My husband, my children, and a constantly growing family that I had gained three years ago. My life was far more than complete and so was my heart.
