Let Me In

No Escape

Tristan was the last person I wanted to see, and I refused to let him. But by the eighth time he's asked to see me, I caved. The door creaked open and I tried to hold back the tears that threatened to spill over. I masked my emotions with an unreadable expression.

As soon as he walked in, I knew he had spotted the fresh cut on my wrist, the one I had so cleverly added last night. He seemed to ignore it though, and I just played it off.

"I'm sorry," He finally spoke, breaking the tension between us, "I don't know why I said those things, and I realize I shouldn't have... God, this is all my fault,"

"No," I state simply, "Most of it, but not all of it,"

He jammed his hands into his jean pockets and he looks at me warily, "How are you doing this right now? Not killing yourself completely, even talking to me right at this moment. How do you do it all? Why do you vent out by cutting?"

I took a deep breath and looked him dead in the eye, "Because pain makes me forget about hurt. But death will make me forget everything. And I don't want to forget the happy moments,"

As expacted. he grabbed my other wrist and ran his thumb across the fresh cut, no scab or scar even forming yet. There were still stains of blood on my arm, but they were only noticable if you stared at it for a few seconds.

He stared at me with his wide eyes, begging for an answer to what he had found. Tristan enveloped me in a hug and asked, "Why would you do this to yourself, Annalise?"

"Because there's no other escape," I whispered softly, barely audible.

"Yes there is. You just have to wait a little longer for it to come along," He told me.

I gave him a sad smile, the one I've been using so often lately. If only he knew everything, how neglected and lonely I feel when he walks out of the room, leaving me behind. How I've been practically on my own since I was in seventh grade.

But I couldn't bring myself to complain about life anymore, because I knew that he was hurt deep down. No matter what he says, and how strong of the facade he puts up - I know he's hiding something devastating from me.

"What about you?" I asked, "What about your problems?"

Tristan just shook his head, "You're my only problem, 'Lise," He said humorously.

"Tristan I'm serious. I can tell you're hurting," I said, parting from the hug, "You can tell me anything, you know," I tell him sincerely.

"Thanks, but I don't think you'd know how to handle this," He answered. That being said, he walked out of the room and away from me, deserting my crumpled body on the floor of my hospital room. More tears escaped from my eyes as I stared out the window, watching the sun dip down past the horizon.

"I love you, Tristan Angel," I whispered to myself.

I prayed that he felt the same way, that things would work out with us. That there would be an us, together, united. I sighed and climbed back into bed, still shaking from my crying fit -- Let Me In, Tristan. I'll love you forever. I just need to know if you love me.