Let Me In

Wrestling For Trust?

I waited impatiently in the gym for Tristan to show up, but he never did. Rolling my eyes, I turned to face the guy that was apparently taking charge of the tryouts.

He glared at me, "This is wrestling tryouts, not cheerleading,"

"I know," I said through gritted teeth.

He rolled his eyes and faced away, "I'm David, the Co-Captain. Welcome to tryouts, unfortunately, the Captain was not able to make it today. So I'll be taking his place. Now I see we have a female competitor, step on up. Coach Burns and I will be watching you wrestle the varsity team,"

"Gladly," I smile coldly.

I step up to the mat where I see the varsity guy waiting. Immediately recognizing him as Jake's former wrestling partner, I remember everything I can about his technique. Smiling sweetly at him, I hoped that my being a girl would throw him off and make him go easy.

Judging by his facial expression, this wasn't bound to happen.

The bell rang and he charged me. I easily side stepped and tripped him. I crouched down, taking his arm and flipping him over me with ease. Then, I climbed on top of him, pinning his hands above his head and his legs to the ground. Just like I had yesterday.

He was counted out and I had won the match. The same thing happened almost every match, but I had still won all of them. The varsity team were impressed, and one of them started to drool when I took off my shirt and sweats to reveal my neon sports bra and spandex.

My last match was against David -- and I wasn't looking forward to it. He had obviously picked up on my strategy, so I was going to have to change it. Maybe if I jumped on his back while he charged, I could take him out by the knees...

The bell rang again, and we stood there, no one daring to charge. Finally, David came forward, trying to grab my leg. I kicked my leg over his head and wrapped it around his neck. Forcing him to the ground, I sat on his back until he was counted out. Final match won.

"Well done, Ms. Robins. I'm guessing you got this from your brothers?" Coach Burns questions. I nod my head, yes, and he smiles, "How's Jake doing?"

I chuckled, "He's doing fine, I guess. But he got really mad when I beat him last night -- best out of nine!"

"Remarkable. Congratulations, you're on the team. You replace David as Co-Captain, seeing as though you beat him during tryouts. When Tristan returns, you're welcome to go against him for the captain position," Coach Burns said.

I smiled, "I accept Co-Captain authorities. But, let's let Tristan keep his position,"

With that said, I turned on my heel and walked out of the gym. I threw on my t-shirt and walked out like that, shirt and spandex and climbed into my truck. Time to go tell my brothers the news of what I have already been ranked as!

Right as I stepped into the living room, I was bombarded with questions from the guys whether I had made the team or not, did I beat Tristan, was I Captain, all kinds of questions.

"I'm sorry guys..." I trail off, misleading them, "The best I could do was make the position of Co-Captain on the Varsity team..."

Jake high-fived me while the other two hugged me. Mom walked in and gave us all questioning looks, "What's going on?"

"Annalise is the Co-Captain of the Varsity wrestling team!" Brad shouted out and I laughed. Our mother congratulated me and I thanked her. Realizing I forgot to call Tristan, I excused myself and went up to my room. Pulling out my phone, I dialed his number.

The phone rang once before the monotone voice came on, telling me his phone was off. I rolled my eyes and grabbed my keys, driving to Tristan's house. I was about a block away when I noticed the limping form on the side of the street.

Realizing it was Tristan, I pulled over and hopped out, "Tristan?" I exclaimed in a worried voice, "Are you okay?"

"Annalise what are you doing here?" He asked his voice gruff. He turned away from me and I couldn't see his face.

"Tristan look at me!" I shout and he flinches. I grabbed his chin and force him to look at me. Once I see the bruises and cuts, I gasp, "Tristan, what happened?"

"Just get away, Annalise,"He growls and I take a step back. This isn't the Tristan I know.

"Tristan, who are you?" I asked.

He shook his head, "You never knew me, Annalise. Just get out of my life, get away from me!" He screams, tears start to stream down his face. Tears of my own are bulding up, as well.

"What do you mean, Tristan?" I whisper.

"Are you really that dumb!?" He exclaims, laughing and crying, "You're not good enough for me, Annalise. If you couldn't figure it out -- you're not good enough. Get out of my life, I can't even stand to look at you," He spat.

My breathing hitched, and tears fell freely down my face, "But, Tristan.."

"Get out of my life, now!" He roared.

I swallowed the lump in my throat and croaked out, "The promise.."

"Screw that, you're a clueless whore. Just go," He says. When those words come out of his mouth, my heart finally shatters and I drive back home. When I enter, I got straight to my room and lock the door. Tristan broke me heart right there and then -- and I didn't even have his.

Ignoring the worried voices from my brothers and mother, I shut them out and stare at a box, high in my closet. Out of reach without me using a stool or ladder. Finally I go over to my closet and pull out a stool. Climbing up I reach the box and take it down. Once I'm sitting back on my bed, I open up the box. Am I really going to go through with this again? I ask myself. The answer was obvious to me once I thought of the situation again. Yes.

The glint of the razor shone in the moonlight.

Sweet, bloody, painful, agonizing, escape. It really is the only way I can trust myself, let alone anyone else in my life.

Cutting.