I'll Fight For You - R5 FANFIC

6

Jamie's POV

I sat in my bed. I buried my head. My eyes turned into waterfalls. I lifted my head from the pillow when I needed to catch my breath. My pillowcase was now stained with mascara. I couldn't breath from my crying.

I wanted everything to be a joke. I wanted someone to jump out and tell me everything I had just been told was a lie.

Riker knocked on the bedroom door. I had locked it when we got home. I crawled up from my bed and walked to the door. I opened it. Riker stood there with red eyes as well. He came in the room and shut the door. I walked back over to the bed, and he followed. He sat down beside me. He wrapped his arms around me as I fell into his chest. I stained his shirt with tears marked by my mascara. He rubbed my back and tried to calm me down. I could hear his voice crack from crying. He wiped his tears away. I could feel his hands moving. I wrapped my hands around him.

"I love you," he whispered with his voice cracking. "It's going to be okay."

How could I believe that? I couldn't believe that I had just gotten the news that I got.

He lifted my head up with his hands. "Look at me." I looked up at him and saw his red eyes. His cheeks were stained with tears, as mine were too. "You have to be strong," he whispered. He put his forehead on mine, and I looked down. I couldn't stand to see him cry, and I know he hated to see me cry. "Everything is going to be okay. You're going to be okay." He kissed my forehead.

"You never know," I whispered. Fear had taken over my thoughts. "Nobody knows." I didn't have a positive thought in my head. Fear was the only thing. Fear isn't positive. Riker didn't say anything. He knew I was right, but his optimistic mind wouldn't let him change his opinion.

"You're strong," he said. Jackson knocked on the door.

"Daddy, I have to potty," he said through the door. I pulled off of Riker and leaned back on the bed. I was silently crying. Riker wiped his eyes. He stood from the bed and walked to the door. He opened it wide enough just for him to step outside of the room. "Is Mommy okay?" I heard.

"Mommy isn't feeling good," I heard. I didn't hear much after. I heard a toilet flush. I lost track of time. Riker walked back in and told me he tucked the kids in for bed. I didn't know it was their bed time yet. "You need to go to sleep," he told me.

"You need to just let me cry," I wanted to say, but I didn't. He walked over to me and laid down beside me.

"Just let it out," he said. It was like he read my mind.

I cried for a little bit longer. I felt like a mess and wanted a shower. Riker helped me up and into the bathroom. He knew I was weak in the mind at the moment. He left the bathroom, and I looked in the mirror.

Other than the mess on my face, I was the same person. I looked the same as I did yesterday and the day before that. I felt like the same person. I was the same person. Nothing about me had changed in appearance or anything really. I was still me.

Deep down, I didn't feel like the same person. I knew something was wrong with me, and I hated that. I hated knowing I would change. I hated knowing what was coming.

I remember when I was twelve and road my first roller coaster.

I remember the time I fell off my bike for the first time.

I remember when I graduated high school.

I remember when I moved across the country.

I remember the time I played guitar and did good for the first time.

I remember when I could laugh at anything. Now, I felt as if that ability had been ripped away from me.

It was ripped away by the news I had just gotten.

"I'm sorry, but you have cancer."

(a/n- I AM NOT OKAY!!)