breathe// 5SOS

52

"Maybe,"

"Ash," he groaned, "we don't even know where we are going,"

"And that's the way it's staying. You'll find out on the day, I've sent mum a list of things you'll need,"

He pouted and gave me a hug, wrapping his arms around me.

"Thankyou though. I've been stressed about school, but Lauren has been in tears, and mum deserves this break too,"

"Lauren's been crying?"

"She has a ton of work to do,"

"Bless her, I'll talk to her so don't worry. What are you stressed about ay?"

"Charlie- he's moving up to higher sets so it's bigger classes, and some people find it funny that he struggles,"

"You have a big group of friends though Harry, and you have to rise above it all. They'll get over themselves,"

"And the workload is getting bigger, and school is more important,"

"And you work really hard. If you need help then meet Ava and walk back here. Mum only does the rides because Ava can't walk back on her own,"

"Okay, can you speak to mum?"

"Yeah," I said, starting to whisper, "when Marcus comes for Christmas, can he stay in your room?"

"Where do I go?"

"We've not worked it out yet. Either you and him will be together, or you'll bunk with me and those two will be together. Ava adores him, but I'm not sure how comfortable she'd be with that,"

"Yeah, okay. Is he nice?"

"He's lovely. He's a bit shy, so don't get upset if he takes time warming up, but Ava is excited to do things with the three of you,"

"I really want to make him feel welcome,"

"He's just like Ava, except he's not been through what she has, so a little more open to ideas,"

"Will he join my classes?"

"The plan is for his family to come down, and there's a court date set transfer custody, so yes if he likes it,"

Ava came through in my joggers and hoodie, walking into Harry's arms.

"I think you went into the wrong wardrobe," I teased, a small smile in her face, "you've been hot all summer, and the moment it cools a little, you're acting like it's winter,"

"I'm freezing,"

"Well lets get you moving then. We'll put some music on and start baking,"

Harry put on his music, which I wasn't sure was entirely appropriate, but Ava danced to anything. She didn't do it noticeably, but with a nod of the head or tap of the foot. It was her comfort for sure.

As we got into baking a bit more, I took her hand, leaving Harry in charge. I playfully spun her round, then took her other hand and started twisting side to side. She was trying to bite back a smile, but eventually let it out and started to blush.

Then, she hid it again and tried to pull her hands away as if she'd just remembered something.

"Come on," I said, "it's only us here,"

"I don't like dancing,"

"I see you tapping your foot and nodding your head," I grinned.

"Dad,"

"It's just a bit of fun,"

"I think she's tired," Harry hummed, "Ava, do you want to cut the gingerbread shapes?"

She shook her head and hugged me, making me turn her round.

"She will, we're going to have a chat though. If you could fill up dishwasher, please,"

I led Ava to the hallway, cupping her cheek with my hand.

"What's up ay? We're trying to have some fun, and Harry came to see you,"

"I'm sorry,"

"Its okay, I'm trying a lot more to think about your position, so you can tell me what's up,"

She stuck her lip out, trembling as she shook her head.

"What did we say? We're gonna be more open, aren't we? And I'm your dad, I can't be mad for long,"

"You will, you'll be mad forever,"

"I won't be mad forever. Bundling it up won't do any good,"

She started to cry, and looked down as if she was ready for my disappointment.

"I slept in the same bed as Julie, and I didn't mean to but I fell asleep while watching a film, and that's where I was. I'm sorry,"

"Oh sweetheart,"

"We didn't do anything, I promise,"

"I know, and I'm not mad at you at all. I'm giving you my trust that nothing will happen if you do that, and I know you'd keep it. As you said, you woke up there anyway,"

She slid down the wall, onto the floor, still crying.

"What else is up poppet? You don't usually get in such a state,"

"I leaked all over my pretty pyjamas that Michael bought me,"

Hushing her, I kissed her head, sitting next to her so that she could rest her head on me.

"When Viola gets home we can see if she knows any way to get it out. Did you think I'd be mad, or were you upset your pretty pyjamas got ruined?"

"Both,"

"I think you overestimate how easily I get mad, Ava,"

I kissed her head again, holding her close to my body. I would do anything to protect her, and my heart ached that we had lost that strong bond.

"I missed you,"

"You had fun though,"

"Can I cut out the gingerbread?"

"Of course. Do you need some medicine for your cramps?"

"Yes please,"

"Go to Harry, I'll get it,"

I got the medicine from the cupboard and then got her a glass of water, waiting as she used the cookie cutter. Harry put them in the oven and she took the tablets, looking directly into my eyes.

"What?"

"I love you,"