The Commander and The Girl

Chapter 42

"If you think this will get your little lover to come back out, you're wrong." She bellows, finally dropping the humorous act.

"I don't." A tear balances on my eyelash. My throat grows dry.
"I guess I was already dead the day I stepped down here huh?" I watch as her face flickers with a covered emotion.
I drop the blade to my wrist. I take a deep breathe and slice a line through. Immediately I feel weak, and strain to keep focused.

"Lexa, if you're there, this is the time to help. I have five minutes before I bleed out. Half that once I cut my other wrist." I huff, wincing at the blood.

"You really want to ruin the fun for me don't you?" She purrs, slowing stalling towards me.

I keep my eyes trained to the floor as a body collapses.
Lexa lays on the floor, seizing, her eyes rolled behind her head.
I drop to the ground where she lays and lift her head up.
"Lexa!" Her body is limp in my arms. My blood drips onto her cheeks, smearing a crimson along her face.
Dizzy, I wrap my wrists with my shirt, ripping it above my belly button in the process.
Taking a deep breathe I place both hands on her abdomen and start compressions.
My cuts sting as sweat drips into the open wound. I didn't cut deep enough to kill me as I claimed, I'm not brave enough to actually take my own life.
I place two fingers below her chin and freeze.
Her pulse is weak, so weak I could even be mistaking it for my own heartbeat. Her body lurches and she flips to her side, grunting as though in pain.

"Lexa, please." I beg not knowing what else to do. If only my mother were here. She'd be able to save her.
I let weak sobs dampen my shirt as I stare at her body. A movement catches my eye as Titus stirs on the floor. Swallowing my emotions I walk over and slap him. He jerks awake reaching a strong hand to my wrist, further deepening the wound.
Grunting in pain I order, "help her." And point to Lexa. Titus groans in pain as he stands, but quickly sits at Lexa's side. His cloak holds a patch of soaked blood, dry to the touch. I suppose Sheidheda only wanted me dead, at least for now.
Titus lowers his head as he stands before me.

"It seems the Commander is not strong enough. You may leave for this." He says solemnly before reaching for the blade she dropped.
My forehead creases in anger as I force him to look at me.

"She is not weak. I don't know what you expect to do with that when I leave, but it's not happening."
He looks at me angrily as I kneel to Lexa's side. At the motion of me moving she's seemed to start mumbling words. I lean closer trying to figure out what she's saying.
"She's mine." Is clearly heard as a hand grips the back of my head.
My head is thrusted to the hardwood ground and I feel my body ache as my vision goes dark.
Titus grunts a concerned, "Clarke." Before lifting my head off the ground.
I look up and see the room spin and Lexa being held down by Titus. Her eyes are wild, murderous. She's dropped her act of professionalism and instead replaced it with pure rage.
My mind buzzes as I clear my vision.

"Clarke leave!" Ordered Titus.

I squinted my eyes before dropping to a bag I had left. I scramble through the bag then pull out one of the stun sticks from the Ark.
I then grab a pillow off the bed and walked to Titus struggling to hold Lexa down.
Titus looks confusedly at the pillow until I lift it towards her head. Compliant he pushes her shoulders down as I smother her face. She bashes under the pressure of the pillow, screaming horrible words. Tears stream down my face as I feel her body contract, then she stops moving, stops fighting.
"I did what I had to for my people." I whisper choking down my shaky breathe.

I place two fingers below her jaw, even though I know she's dead, and I wait.
10 seconds, her blood flow is stopping.
3 minutes, her main vitals have dropped.
7 minutes, brain activity gone.