The boy with the mask

Nine-"Baby, I'm home!"

                                    Jack’s P.O.V 

Last night, after we came home, wasn’t any better. The voices in my head, the thoughts, the way they treated us, the way they treat Riley. She was still just a child. She doesn't deserve any of this. But, I guess life doesn't always give you what you want. 

Riley was crying, that much was reasonable. Entering home after having the time of your life is laborious. They yelled at me first-of course they did- they yelled about me being irresponsible, rude, and more; but I stopped paying attention once everything felt like it was falling on me. 

See, you aren’t enough. 
You’re worthless. 
You just cause problems. 
They don’t want you. 
You’re a waste of space. 

Stop. 

Nope. 
I’m going to keep bothering you until you blow. 

Please, I cried. 
Stop. 

No. I said it once, and I’ll say it again, you aren’t worth it. Leave. Go away. Disappear. I’ll do whatever it takes to make you leave. 

These voices in my head, they eat me up. They make me want to believe them. I want to believe them, but I also don’t. My mind was corrupted by the drug you prescribed. The drug so heavy that it eats me and consumes me. I’m tired of living, I’m tired of breathing, I’m tired of the things I can’t see. I’m tired of just being me. I’m tired of being hated for being me. I want to be able to make my father proud and love me again and I want to be the reason my mom would want me again. 

As my younger sister, Riley, shouldn’t have to get hurt though any of this. I want her to be able to escape all this and live a great life without constant fear, doubts, pain, or trauma. She’s gone through so much already. And, everyone’s case is different but I feel whatever the problem, your problem also matters. No one's problem should be more important than another's, it's still a problem. 

 As I walked in Riley's room, pacing back and forth, anxious. 

What if something happened to her? 

 You should've stayed at Madison's house. 

You talk so much about loving Riley, but, is it ever true? 

Stop. I yelled. 

To who are you trying to convince? 

We all know the truth. 

It's all your fault. 

All of it. 

Not one single thing isn't. 

I just want relief. 

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

12 o'clock. Noon. And I still haven't seen Riley. 

Where is she? 

Where did they take her? 

They. I scoffed. 

How amazing. 

I haven't seen that woman in years just to know say 'they' like she was now important to me. 

I needed a mother figure growing up. Where was she this whole time? Where was she when I was being abused by my father? Where was she when I was being bullied because I was afraid to show the bruises that covered my face, the pain I hid, I was afraid to find out the truth.