39 Paranoia

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A/N: Okkkk, it's been a long time since we had an authors note. I know the chapters are a bit slow and kind of depressing(-ish) but bear with dear Emily. We can't have all the good things without the bad. 

And because I have had some really bad days and have been very unproductive lately bear with me as well. 

If all goes well, this chapter in Emily's life is slowly closing, meaning I have counted almost ten more chapters for this book unless I change my mind again. So to you faithful readers out there a big shoutout from me and a huge thank you! 

PratsPathak , kiwimash12Anonymous09022001, Thank you for your support!! I am sorry I don't have that much time to chat more often but know that I will answer back should you need me for anything!! 

Now... this is the smallest chapter ever soo..... don't kill me. I am just trying to cut a little of the negativity Emily is experiencing. 

Back to the chapter now....

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It would appear that time ticked whenever it pleased. Faster when you didn't want it to pass, slower when you wanted it to race.

I lived one of those moments just as I was lifting my head to come face to face with the man that I dreaded the most. I was sure he was right in front of me. Waiting, mocking me, laughing at my pathetic state.

This was the closest he ever got to see me break.

Slowly, oh so slowly with fat tears staining my cheeks I rose and rose until my eyes met a broken ornate desk. My gaze travelled higher and higher until I saw something that made me break down and wail, clutching my hair because I wanted to pluck them out.

I whizzed and cried and then lifted my head to look again only to see the same thing.

Was this how they were going to break me? Cause they were doing a fantastic job!

After a few moment's I broke down and started laughing giving in to that little piece of insanity that beg to get me in its clutches.

I stared at the desk ahead laughing dementedly till there was a loud bang on the door behind me that put an end to my hysterics.

'Shut up you harlot!' the guard outside shouted angrily. I chuckled with a hand covering my mouth to stifle my laughter from breaking.

I was alone.

I was truly alone in a desolate room rimmed with debris and a broken desk. Curtains hanging, rotten from the exposure to the elements from the broken windows. A slight breeze bringing the foul smell of mould into my nostrils making me heave at times.

My stomach hurt. My heart hurt. My head hurt.

But I was alone.

I didn't even have the strength to think of what to do following days of starvation and complete paranoia as I wrecked my brain to come up with a reason why they didn't do anything to me. 

Why choose to just forget about me. I was suddenly so tired physically and emotionally, so I ended up laying my head on the dusty floor, with the musty scent slowly burning my nose and just closed my eyes letting the last tears flow.

----------------The slow stroke of a gentle finger on my cheek was the thing that woke me gradually. At first, it was a bit bothersome and annoying, pulling me out of my dreamless slumber, till it became more intense and alive. A featherlight touched the evoked shivers to run down my entire body. Gerard, my tired mind thought and conjured up behind my eyelids his beautiful face with that sly smirk he usually wore when he was with me.

My heart jumped and filled with joy at the thought that he was right in front of me ready to take me in his arms. I forced myself awake, to see him, touch him and let him fill me with the strength I desperately needed.

My eyelids fluttered slowly and the shape of a dark-haired man appeared making me even more desperate to wake and see those beautiful dual-coloured irises of the man I craved so badly. I breathed deeply and with a last flutter, my eyes focused on the man in front of me. And then I jumped like a cat as fast and as far as I could reach away from the Devil himself, as he stood there a sinister smile on his lips watching me crouched on the floor.

My breath came in short gasps as my heart couldn't find a proper beating rhythm, my eyes glued on the man I feared the most.

The Colonel had finally decided to see me.

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