The Potato Nation

10: Disturbed

u n e d i t e d. 

this chapter is real important tho. Sets the setting for the next chapter in which you find out what the potato nation is. (plus the ten chapter anniversary) 

<< dedicated to @Leperksofbeingaloser because her comments are life >>

10: Disturbed

  It is one of those days. The kind you just get up in the morning and decide that you don’t want to live anymore – that you are tired of fighting your battles and you just want to stop it, end the pain that keeps you awake at night, crying your heart out.

It is one of those days for Farrah and that is weird because frankly speaking, yesterday was a good day and so is today. Her overthinking, her over sensitivity is going to destroy her someday, that’s for sure.

Only they seem to have destroyed her already.

Because when she walks in her bathroom and looks in to the mirror, she almost screams, terrified. Her eyes are puffy and bloodshot and blotchy and she doesn’t know – she didn’t cry last night, has she been crying in her sleep? Her face is swollen and she thinks it’s because of the crying. She wonders why she has been crying. Maybe that is why she feels so broken, so early in the morning today.

She rubs her face with fresh water and looks in to the mirror again. Her head is pounding and her nose has turned red; the colour won’t go away, no matter how harshly she rubs her nose. The swelling of her cheeks grows unnoticeable by every passing second and she is relieved when exactly, five minutes later, the signs of the crying are barely there. They are discreet enough and she is pretty sure that her family or friends won’t notice them. After all, no one she knows is really observant.

But Farrah has never been a daredevil and to avoid the risk, she sneaks out of the house and skips breakfast. She has some money in her pocket and there is a Dunkin’ Donuts somewhere here. She intends on going there but as soon as she reaches the place and catches sight of the familiar pink board, her appetite goes away. In all honestly, she didn’t feel very hungry earlier too. She wonders why.

Adjusting her hijab and sighing, she simply walks away and prays to God that she isn’t sick or something because it is the last thing that she needs. She is in no mood to add up a disease in to her mysterious mount of gloom.

Sighing yet again, she pockets her money back and walks on the sidewalks. The weather is wonderfully refreshing; the only bright thing on a despondent day. The sun is partially hidden behind the fluffy white clouds and a pleasant wind is blowing, which is neither too hot nor too cold. The wind makes her hijab fly in the opposite direction and she smiles slightly as she pushes the hijab out of her eyes.

This is the first time in ages that she appreciates the beauty of nature and the wonders that it works on her mood.

Scratching her arm a little, she finally reaches the school. Just like Dunkin’ Donuts, it hardly seems appealing but this time, she has no choice. She has to go and study, just like every other person in here and that makes her feel sick, sick and sick because she doesn’t feel like doing anything at all. It isn’t a very good feeling.

Feeling worthless, she ventures on to her first class. Her inner grieving is showing on her face this time and Farhanna questions her about it,

“Is everything okay?”

Quickly covering up with a soft smile, she nods, “Absolutely perfect. I was just thinking.”

“About what?”

Farrah winks at her friend, “About you.”

Farhanna chuckles and soon forgets that Farrah is acting weirdly. No one else notices how she doesn’t seem to want to talk to anyone or how she is spacing out more often today. No one comes up to her and pats her on her back and assures her that it is okay to be un-okay sometimes. No one tries to push away that feeling inside of her heart and make her smile like there is no tomorrow.