Paradise

♧15♧

Today is the day. The day of my debut.

I'm going to be revealed to the public as the Songs' heiress. As the person behind all of those psychological breakthroughs made throughout the years of SMIP's existence.

And as excited as I am.

I'm also...

Scared.

I'm scared that they won't like me. How if they hate me? How if they find me ugly? Unworthy? What about my hair? My voice? Will they like me?

What about them?

I shake my head to get rid of stranger oriented thoughts and breathe in a meek attempt to calm myself down.

To this day, I still worry about the impression I shall make to the public. To this day, I still worry about their opinion.

But I can't help the way I was programmed to think.

The emotional and mental abuse I went through really took a toll on me.

It sickens me that even until now. Where I'm safe and sound, I still subconsciously worry about what they would think. There's still a deep rooted fear towards their harsh judgements and criticism towards me.

They still terrify me.

I can still feel their eyes on me and still hear the harsh words in my head.

I shiver.

"You good, Ki?"

Nabi's voice snaps me out of my dilemna.

I shake my head furiously making her flinch back a bit.

"Kira...?" She queries unsurely.

There it is.

The black wave.

"Ki-" Nabi tries to speak to me but I can't hear her. I can't hear anything. It's just me and them.

I scratch my arms harshly and continue to mutter incomprehensible words.

You're pathetic. I told you. You can't run away. No one will ever love you as much as we do.

"No! No! No! Stop. You're wrong. You're wrong!" I whimper. "I don't believe you."

Wrong? When were we ever wrong?

"Y-you were a-always w-wr-wrong." I whisper in a pathetic attempt to make them stop.

As always, you're being an ungrateful little bitch. After everything we've done for you, this is how you repay us?!?!

"No. No. I'm sorry. I-i'm sorry!"

Perhaps we should teach you a lesson?

A blood curdling scream pierces through the air.

Nabi's POV

She screams so loud that I have to cover my ears as the sound reverberates through the room and snaps me out of my reverie.

I run to the intercom and press 0.

"She's having an episode! We need help. We're in the bedroom." I explain furiously before the person on the other side of the line can speak.

I look back to see her hunched over while her hands - which are crossed over her arms - scratch harshly at every part they get.

I rush to her and grab her hands in weak attempt to stop the poor girl from hurting herself any further but it worsens her condition as she thrashes around in my hold, screaming and kicking.

My eyes widen at this and I hold her tighter.

"Stop!" She screams, continuing to wriggle out of my grip. "Shut up! Shut up!"

"I told you to shut up!" She pushes forward, taking me by surprise so I let go suddenly, falling to the floor as I land on my bottom.

I groan in pain.

Not the pain from falling on the floor but the pain from seeing my sister in such horrible shape and not being able to do anything about it.

I feel so helpless. I want to help her but there's nothing I can do and that fact just aggravates me.

The door slams open and familiar figures burst into the room.

I feel Lia and Jungkook help me up from the floor.

I nod to them and our eyes train off to stare at Kira who's practically convulsing in the corner of the room.

Hyekyo is beside her with a water bottle and her meds as she tries to shove the pills into her daughter's mouth while Joongki holds her down.

The three of us sigh at the sad sight, knowing that interfering won't do Kira any good at the moment.

We all look away, trying to give some privacy even though it's rather hard not to look, especially when we hear the pitiful whimpers and strained screams of Kira.

The struggle continues for a while before the room suddenly quiets down.

We don't approach until we're given permission to do so. Amidst the silence I feel like we're forgetting something but I brush it off and focus on the situation at hand.

Finally, she speaks.

"I-i'm okay n-now." A meek voice speaks up and relief washes over all of us almost immediately.

We turn to see Joongki sitting on the floor with his legs stretched up and hands positioned on either side of his body on the floor to steady him. His head is tilted upward and he pants heavily.

On the other hand, Hyekyo has an arm wrapped around her trembling daughter.

We all approach Kira cautiously.

I'm the first to speak.

"Tokki," I address her with my personal term of endearment for her, knowing that it will calm her down more. "how are you feeling?"

Still trembling in her mother's hold, she speaks. " 'm okay, Mochi."

Silence engulfs us as we never know what to say when she gets her episodes.

" 'm sorry i-if I s-scared you all. Didn't mean to." She utters weakly.

Jungkook rubs her arm in a comforting manner before he replies to her. "It's okay babygirl." I see Joongki glare slightly at the brunette from the corner of my eye upon hearing the nick name that Jungkook has used for Kira for years now. "You didn't do anything wrong. We're not mad at you."

Lia nods encouragingly from the side. "Yeah. You stayed strong till the very end. We're so proud of you, Kira Koala." She cooes fondly at the tiny girl.

"T-thank you, guys. And thank you, mom and dad." She voices sincerely.

"Anything for our darling daughter." Hyekyo states lovingly and Joongki hums in approval. "We'll always be here to protect you, pumpkin."

And with all those said, we fall into a comforting silence.

Until our eyes, which are lit up with a sudden realisation, meet.

We all shout in unison.

"The conference!"