Hidden Sanity

Chapter 39 - Metanoia

Sofia said "Please tell me this is a joke."

Alice panicked. She hit her forehead with her palm and said "No. Oh God! Shit. No... We haven't been using protection for a while now."

"You have to buy yourself a pregnancy test and test it out! Holy shit, Alice! Your symptoms are very clear. How could you not notice?"

"I may be too focused on the case that I forgot about him at all."

"Well I guess now he's going to be a father. So much reasons to think about him now."

"Sofia! He's a serial killer! The father of my child is going to be the serial killer! Oh no... this can't be happening. No... no..."

"Alice, calm down. Listen, I wanted to stay longer with you but I'd have to go to work. You buy a pregnancy test to confirm that. Buy as many as you can. Only if they're all positive, then you can overreact."

"Yes. Go to work now. You're going to be late. I'll call you when I got the result."

"I'll be waiting."

Sofia left her apartment hurriedly and went to work. Alice immediately went her way outside and bought 3 pregnancy tests. She was very nervous. She couldn't think properly. Her heart was palpitating. She managed to get back to Sofia's apartment and drank a lot of water while hoping it was just a false alarm even though she knew that the possibility of her being pregnant is very high.

Then when she felt like peeing already, she already took the test. Her hand was shaking, she almost dropped the pregnancy test on the toilet. She was wishing this was just a dream; a terrible nightmare.

She thought "It couldn't be. He was a very dangerous man. He couldn't be a father! And I could not be a mother, bearing the fruit of an evil man."

After a few drops on it, the first one came out positive within a few seconds. She said "Fuck!"

Her heartbeat was getting faster and faster knowing that it is most likely to be positive all throughout. She took the remaining two tests to confirm because the first one might be false. It was a stupid idea but she just couldn't believe unless she tried it many times.

She screamed "Nooooo!"

They were all positive. She started to hyperventilate. She kept mumbling the words, "Please don't... Wake up... wake up. It can't be."

She called Sofia and told her about the results. She was crying for the emotions she felt overwhelmed her. She didn't know what to do or say now that she charged the father of her baby for murder. She loved Jack but she couldn't handle it if he was put to death sentence and her child would not meet his or her father at all, or even just the thought that she would have to lie to her child so he or she won't know that his or her father was a murderer. It was the shame and guilt that ate her up.

Sofia said "So what now? Are you going to tell him about the baby?"

"He's in a coma, Sofia. I don't even know if he'll wake up soon to know."

"So are you planning to see him now?"

"No. I'm not. I won't. I can handle this alone."

"Pregnancy is not like having period, just so you know."

"I know. The question is, if I should abort it as soon as possible while he or she still doesn't have a heartbeat."

"It's your choice. I'm completely open-minded so whether you do it or not, it doesn't matter."

"If the baby grows, there is a chance he'll be a psychopath too. Jorge was one because of his father."

"Yes. His neurological biology is different from other people. He's born with it. So his son has a high percentage for being a threat to society as he grows older."