INSECURITY. - JINGYEOM

twenty two.

jinyoungs eyes opened, but he squeezed them shut again when he realized his head was throbbing. he felt like he was gonna vomit, and his throat hurt. he felt like he was freezing, despite being under at least 3 comforters.

he shivered and curled into himself, not realizing that there was another person in the room. he felt small and weak, he felt fragile and he hated it. he was supposed to be strong, he wasn't supposed to break down, that's not like him. he let out a shaky breath and finally took notice to jackson.

he could tell the elder was angry by the way he moved, the way he harshly opened a bottle of tylenol and set it down with force. the loud sound of the bottle hitting the dresser made jinyoung flinch slightly. and the way jackson looked at him, no glared at him. it made him feel tiny.

he wanted to cry, he was literally on the verge of a breakdown. he felt terrible, and the way jackson seemed so mad at him made it worse. he shivered again and curled into the blankets more, squeezing his eyes shut to block out everything.

you're not allowed to be sad, jinyoung.

"you are allowed to be sad, everyone is." jackson mumbled, his voice wasnt sweet, in fact it was harsh. jinyoung frowned and shook his head slightly. "i'm not. i'm not the victim. i'm the bad guy, the villain, i hurt yugyeom, again, and now everyone hates me." jinyoung mumbled quietly.

"no one hates you, jinyoung. we're just a little disappointed." in a second the harsh tone of jackson's voice was gone, replaced with an empathetic and caring one. jinyoung didn't believe it, he knew bambam hated him, and so did youngjae most likely.

"you're a liar." jinyoungs voice was soft, almost not hearable, but jackson heard it and frowned. "i'm not lying. i don't hate you, i'm just disappointed. i could never hate you." jackson said, smiling softly at his friend who seemed uncharacteristically soft and fragile right now.

"i don't want to disappoint you, i'm sorry." jackson's heart breaks, jinyoung sounded so heart broken and hurt. "it's okay jinyoung. here, take this, hopefully it'll make you feel better." jackson said, smiling at jinyoung who nodded and took the pill.

"do the others even know you're with me?" jinyoung asked softly, blinking slowly, obviously still feeling tired. jackson sighed and swept his hand through jinyoungs soft hair. "no, they just think i went home cause i wasn't feeling great." he said, frowning slightly.

"where's yugyeom? is he okay?" jinyoung asked, sitting up do his back was against the headboard. jackson frowned a little bit and shook his head. "he's in the hospital, he overdosed." jinyoung gasped softly.

"oh god this is all my fault. god i'm the worst friend ever. i'm so sorry jackson." jackson shook his head moving to sit next to jinyoung, who was on the verge of tears. he put his arm around said boys shoulder and held him closer.

"it's not your fault jinyoung, don't blame yourself okay? you know yugyeom wouldn't like that. he loves you." he kissed jinyoung on the head, which made the boy feel so much better. having someone there for him just made him feel good.

"can you please tell the group chat i'm sorry, and get them to tell yugyeom." jackson sighed but nodded, he got out his phone and hoped that they wouldn't be too harsh.

YUGYEOM PROTECTION SQUAD

jackson
guys, i'm with jinyoung
right now.
seen by 4 people

bambam
wtf? you're with the traitor?
seen by 4 people

jinyoung felt his heart shatter at the word used to describe him "traitor", was he really a traitor?

youngjae
why are you with him?
seen by 4 people

jackson
i found him shit faced drunk
in an alley last night, he stuttered
out an apology and then collapsed
into my arms, he was shaking like
a leaf and i felt bad. it was so
cold and he was in a t-shirt and ripped
jeans. he has a fever, i'm not just gonna
leave him alone now.
seen by 4 people

jaebeom
poor thing :( is he okay?
seen by 4 people

jackson
hes okay but he wants u guys
to know that he's sorry and he
wants u to tell yugyeom that
he's sorry.
seen by 4 people

bambam
we aren't telling yugyeom
shit, jackson.
seen by 4 people

bambam
he doesn't deserve our friendship
jackson.
seen by 4 people

bambam
all he does his hurt and destroy,
he does things for himself and
no one else
seen by 4 people

jinyoung gasped at the words, his lip quivering as he tried to hold in his tears. was he really that bad? was he really undeserving of friendship?  jackson frowned and told jinyoung bambam was just mad, he didn't mean it.

mark
bambam, dont say that. you
know it's not true.
seen by 4 people

bambam
but it is true hyung, he says
things without thinking. he's so
fucking annoying i don't even
know why we were friends in
the first place.
seen by 4 people

jinyoung knew that bambam had a problem with saying things he didn't mean while angry, but that didn't stop him from believing every word he typed into the groupchat.

jaebeom
bambam, dont be so rude.
seen by 4 people

bambam
i'll do what i want.
seen by 4 people

bambam
jinyoung is a disgusting thing, he
doesn't even deserve to be called a
human. he should just go away and
never come back. i hate him and i know
youngjae and yugyeom do too.
seen by 4 people

youngjae
no. don't put words in my mouth
bam. you're being way too harsh
seen by 4 people

mark
bambam, you're taking it too
far.
seen by 4 people

jaebeom
don't be like that bambam, it's
absolutely disgusting.
seen by 4 people

bambam
it's true, he should just disappear
seen by 4 people

"jacks, he's right, i just hurt you guys."